On Giving

I have written continuously for the last month, writing every alternate day on all sorts of topics. I have come to a point where I could not find an issue that was burning that I could write about. It then dawned on me that have we come to a point where we expect something from someone because we did something for him/her.

Has my writing caused a sort of expectations on other's that just because I do it for the sake of other's, I must continue to do it, otherwise the burden will be on myself to bear the expectations of other's to produce something that will change their lives. When has altruism becomes a burden, from the feeling of bliss of doing something good to one that transforms to a chore where it becomes a routine. And when the receiver expect to be given, and the giver is expect to be give. Does that even consider as altruism as context changes.

The previous day I was tired and was facing dearth of ideas, yesterday, I was tired from my French classes but I continued reading to find some inspiration but it was not giving. I then began to feel a sense of burden and dread of having to find something that will change people's lives with my writing. How then giving become a chore and have I become a nasty person just because of that. The obvious answer is no, but the niggling feeling remains.

It then dawned on me further that giving in this society is so scarce that sometimes the giver is expected to continue giving even he/she has nothing to give because no one else is chipping in to help. The giving has stopped because no one had stepped in to fill up the vacuum. Must we always expect something in return for giving to someone. Pure altruism does not exist in that we give without expect nothing in return but sometimes a gesture would suffice, a recognition would be encouraging and a smile will do wonders. It is probably not because we expect a material reward but an acknowledgement that our gesture has made a difference. After all, giving is a form of social interaction, it involves the act of giving and taking, a symbolic gesture and nothing more that one's act of kindness is appreciated and we return in kind- does that not considered as altruistic.

I was reading somewhere that an benevolent act triggers a similar somatic experience as taking drugs. It gives someone the same high as taking drugs and because of this, the act is then not considered altruistic. And because of this, the giver is not doing a altruistic act.

Giving without some form of acknowledgement is like unrequited love, one begins to ask themselves why am I doing this in the first place. In such an one-sided environment, egotism begins to rise on the taker and a sense of selflessness begins to rise in the giver but in such an environment, does it even consider as altruistic in first place. We begin to develop a hero complex in the giver and an invincible complex in the taker. Power begins to tip loop-sided to the giver as the social debt increases as the amount of giving increases. The invincibility complex begins to collapse in the taker once it suffers a first setback to it's ego to a point where he realises the social debt he has to pay is insurmountable. The onus is then on the giver for now to build on the taker's lost of confidence, does he use him/she for good or for their own self-interests. That responsibility is then on the giver for having build up the taker's confidence without regard of his welfare. What will the hero do.

Actually we all need each other and we should help each other in times of need. When we received help from others, we should always repay back in kind as soon as possible and in proportion. But to view all these in a form of transactions, would be missing the whole point altogether. Most times, people give without expecting something in return and if you acknowledge in return, you would make the opposite party happy. And if you can do that, just by smiling or saying thank you, what harm would it for you to do that in return. It might do you a whole load of good without you ever realising it.