You and I

In this rather practical world predicated on pragmatism and covert and overt power relations- it is not easy to lived a life based on happiness alone. In the most extreme form, happiness is quite divorced from reality insofar that one believes that it is survival of the fittest or "life is short, brutal and nasty". Happiness is therefore must have payoff otherwise, it is of absolute useless.

Hence if you see this from this particular perspective, if all our actions is calibrated towards maximizing our payoff- insofar then we would never be happy. Therefore any move without any strategic payoff is therefore seen an unnecessary expediation of precious strategic resources. Insofar, if you subscribe to this particular belief, you have just condemned yourself to an eternal chess game.

Strangely enough I have noticed that people play power games without even realising it. The subtle nuance to gain a leverage either via conventional stereotyping or psychological hoodwinking to them is a matter of "fitting in" insofar that everyone gets a share of the pie in the name of "teamwork". The survival notion is so strong in such groups such that most of them have been patrolled to never go beyond it's given circumscribed area- hence therefore never knowing how far one can go in terms of personal growth or experience. Hence insofar that, one have sacrificed happiness in the name of survival- and therefore since one have made this particular choice, one should never be unhappy for condemning oneself to living one social's roles for the rest of your life.
I do not see why one should condemned others for being brave insofar that one have made that choice to conformity.

Therefore, when one loses strategic advantage in the name of risk insofar to gain an additional experience or for growth, is not without due course. Very often, we categorized other's incapability and incapacity to fit in as "Ah Q"- in other words, so much self-absorbed that one lacks self awareness in one's ability to assess one's social status. Therefore one is seen as stupid and foolish- for losing precious resources, just so one can be happy for a brief moment.

Perhaps then, the habitual Machevallian- it is foolish- but to the philosopher, to other perhaps omnipotent beings- it is a particular valid choice. The only difference lies in the very fact, this happiness is insofar covered by particular stereotype. Hence in this satisfaction or contentment, one is safely happy. But a really simple question: describe a moment, you a safely happy and contended- and without the recognition of danger from young- how did you acquire this relative form of happiness in the first place. When you are younger, one is happy with a toy and 30 years later, how then are you not happy with the same thing- and since happiness is derived from experience, why then are you not always in constant bliss or happiness. You should isn't it- why then are you happy with playing the same social role for the rest of your in the first place?

It is never that I looked down on people who are less intelligent- but rather it is that most of us have this particular choice and insofar that I do not feel smirk but I do feel a sense of sympathy and pity even. Most are quite capable of many things- looking from the answers that they give- but their unwillingness to step out for their box- of which they have horned from young- meant that they have condemned themselves to this role. Hence insofar in this case, to destroy this box that they have created for themselves or someone have created for them, would be to leave in paralysis and lost. Unless one is willing to take a risk, there would always remain a gap between you and me. I will not guarantee that you will live a good, happy and fulfilling life- and if I do, I would have defeat the whole purpose in the first place.

Likewise, people have the notion that I am progressive, different and special if they are nice, weird, strange, and abnormal if that day on the week comes. And they think I have something special or different to offer them and they want to copy or wish replicate and otherwise, do the direct opposite, to differentiate themselves. Let me tell you: don't do that. Not because I am better than you and on one can copy me but rather you wasting your time and creating a pipe dream for yourself. It wears nicely on me because I did it- it might not wear nicely on you because you are doing what I did.

On the second note, some people have called me stupid and why do I keep on repeating the same mistakes and I must be grateful and thankful. It is never because that I am not grateful or thankful, neither is it because, I did not learn my mistakes, it is simply because that when you take that away from me, what is left of me.

Likewise, if your entire life is predicated on fitting yourself in a zero-sum set-up then ultimately, your life remains a total zero even if you have the whole world at the cusp of your hands. I do not think that I have lived frivolous life but the very fact that people have taken advantage of that particular situation meant that they have a particular notion of which they are willing to lived for their rest of their life. Otherwise, there is nothing left to exploit insofar that you believed the cup is constantly full- and anything spilled is matter of life and death. If everyday, your life is on tenterhooks, what more can you say about your life, worldview and ideology- constantly looking for an anchor of which none really exist. And if strength, faithfulness and fidelity are desired qualities, then insofar that loyalty, integrity and justice must exist, otherwise, there is nothing left but a matter of power relations masquerading as reciprocity, feelings, friendship and kinship.

Likewise, I am distant because you are distant from yourself. If you are not comfortable of yourself then insofar, I would only interact with your "for itself" and insofar, once in a while, I let you win, just cause I can live a better life than you did.

Neither am I your knight in shining armour and neither am I your hero, patriot or champion, you do not deserve one unless you are one yourself. Neither am I your competitor, your nemesis or love rival, I have never considered anyone to be one because they are playing in their own box- and all I did is merely to amuse them in the way platable to their box. You are your worst enemy- if you don't even know yourself, how do I know I am better than you- and if you constantly seek gratification and satisfaction from someone else, then you have no business taking me on.

Likewise, I am not your pyschologist- therefore go and find a shrink or a fight club. I am not your diametric opposite- you are.It is tough playing your diametric opposite, just so you can prove to yourself that you are right-similarly, likewise for yourself, you think you are amusing me, the feeling is rather mutual really. Stop acting to keep yourself in play, know yourself and you don't need to focus on other's. Focus on yourself and how you can grow rather than proving yourself relative to other's. There is nothing here, move on.

On the second note, I would not be appreciative that if you help me to achieve a personal vendetta. Fix yourself first before you come and fix me. Similarly, do not use me to achieve your personal vendetta. It is your own personal problem- not mine. And if I do help you, do not be grateful- I did it more out of sympathy than empathy. I only help you along with the crutch thats all.