We do not need to make choices if they are not put before them. This is not denial, but rather a form of categorical fallacy. For example, if I am not religious, it does not mean that I must believe in devil or is an anti-Christ. Similarly, if I do not show interest in something, it must mean that I show interest the opposite thing. Unless the things in discussion are ESSENTIALLY different things, some choices are simply false choices.
Like for example, when I do not do anything, it means that I do not want, incapacitated or simply passive. Choices- beyond the either/or can only increase with knowledge. Likewise, we are also limited by what we know- hence then can we say that we then doomed to die, since this is the only thing we will ever know for sure. Hence then how can our entire civilization survive for more than 5000 years.
Of course, there are certain things beyond our control- like where we are born and the social environment that we lived in. Choices are then imposed onto us by these environments that we lived in. Hence even if we are free to choose, we not are free to "choose". Therefore, communities often imposed these choices onto it's people and the more ideologically tight the community, the more tighter the implications.
Today, as I was taking the bus, I was left with this very simple choice: I could take the bus in which this pretty girl went up the bus but it was extremely crowded- and I would still get to my destination- or as this bus was approaching, another came almost immediately, which was emptier came- and I will still get to my destination- but I had to board this bus with a bunch of strange men. Hence the implications would be 1) since I did not take the bus with the girl, I must be gay 2) since I take the bus with the strange men, I then must be gay. I chose the second bus, simply because I didnt know this girl and the chances of getting a seat was easier in the second. By the fate or choice of some supernatural force, since the bus almost came at the same time, can I be seen as gay since I chose to have a seat then to follow a a strange girl.
What if the bus with the strange girl came first and I didnt see the second bus, I would definitely take this bus, since in this case- it just makes perfect sense- since I do not forewarned knowledge that the second bus was coming in ths first place.
Imagine you are playing Sim City and you are god or the bus authorities looking down at your citizens and decided to arrange this pattern, can you make a conclusion that this "citizen" is gay.
I have once said that our lives are made by the choices that we make, and for some reason, by the hand of fate or some supernatural force, i am not able to get what I want or missed on something because I make incorrect decisions, can I then rue myself for always making the wrong choices. No you can't, because you make it to your best ability and unless you do not, you would then rue all the choices that you have make in your life.
I have consider myself not as hyper-successful person nor as a man which attempts to win the popularity contest, I consider myself as a man whom who will do everything to the best of my ability within my given means and to the best of my knowledge and understanding. If it is not good enough for everybody, it is good enough for me- I fear being judged, not by some random person on the street, but by myself- and as there are certain things that we will never know, and if then, I will leave it at that.
Goodnight
Eugene
Sunday, April 14, 2013
Thursday, April 11, 2013
Melt the Pot
There are people whom for a certain reason are more interested in me than I am more interested than I am in myself. Hence perhaps, they know my whereabouts, habits, likes and dislikes better than I do. And so much so that they can accurately predict almost what I intend to do next or intend to do. For this particular reason, there are some whom knows about my backgrounds expect too also the people they themselves perhaps are interested too and hence expect also to know that maybe they could get to know people from whom I supposedly know.
Therefore, I would expect a long bevy of people whom actually knows my habits, and actions and therefore in effort to gain attention of people whom they are interested in too, try to make me a little different from the rest- or in other words, make me look bad or worse than I actually am. These are things I am actually quite patently aware of, but I really did not do anything about it simply because, it would be futile to prove something that I myself am not even aware of. And at the same time, if people are all out to prove to your detriment, there is nothing you can stop them, unless they face you face to face and chat with them the reason for this particular action- otherwise if they are bent on making you stupid even if it is false, there are really nothing you can do about it.
Yesterday, I was at Holland Village having some beverage and really doing a little bit of writing. And due to the manner of the seats and the availability of them, I simply picked the one most convenient and looking the most comfortable. It did not matter that I was facing a bunch of people I don;t really hang out with-simply because I assume that since they are there in a social gathering, they should be able to conduct themselves in a manner of which is non-intrusive to those seated around them. In which they did. Hence since I was not disturbed and I was more than happy to sit there for a couple of hours.
I have seen this bunch of people before and I recognized them, they are young, daring and have a youthful alternative appeal. I then began to notice, many people casting really judgmental eyes and making me look like I was like their ring leader or something. [ In reality, most of friends were normal as hell and I am neither of the above actually- at least not to the extend of putting tattoos and studs in the noses.] For some reason too, really strange people whom I have seldom actually meet in real life began to walk in- these were people from all over the world and some people are really fascinated by this and began to follow me in as well as follow them in. There were more white people than I can remember in Singapore- I began to see them more and more often in coffee shops. There were Spanish speaking people the other day, Filipinos, Vietnamese, french, Americans, Brits, Indonesians, Indians and of course locals. There are about 1 million foreigners in Singapore and it is literally that the small coffee house contained like a dozens of different nationalities.
I was in the bus earlier, I was sitting next to several Caucasians, Filipinos, Indonesians and Japanese housewives- in a bus, excuse me. Maybe these snoopers thinking that I always surrounded by these melting pot of people are looking for some action- continue to display hyper-defensive attitude and make them look a little more available than most.
Actually i am aware of these little actions that tries to massage the context and environment which I situate in- normally once again, I let it slide simply because if the snoopers had made the effort to do this, what makes you think that there are other snoopers waiting too, to do something otherwise.
I am just fortunately unfortunate and if for some reason, like the previous entry I had indicated, they engage in these premeditated and calculated manner- they are really psychopaths and stalkers with no personal respect for privacy or really they want it so bad, that they are willing to do anything and these people are dangerous to handle. I just let them their fifteen minutes of fame, insofar that they keep quiet and allow me to do my thing.
Even if I look like Frankenstein or guppy, I will make them look fabulous insofar they do not intrude into what I am doing. [ by the way, there was this guy whom was sleeping and intruding into space- I just gave him big tongue lashing]
Good Night
Cheers
Eugene
Therefore, I would expect a long bevy of people whom actually knows my habits, and actions and therefore in effort to gain attention of people whom they are interested in too, try to make me a little different from the rest- or in other words, make me look bad or worse than I actually am. These are things I am actually quite patently aware of, but I really did not do anything about it simply because, it would be futile to prove something that I myself am not even aware of. And at the same time, if people are all out to prove to your detriment, there is nothing you can stop them, unless they face you face to face and chat with them the reason for this particular action- otherwise if they are bent on making you stupid even if it is false, there are really nothing you can do about it.
Yesterday, I was at Holland Village having some beverage and really doing a little bit of writing. And due to the manner of the seats and the availability of them, I simply picked the one most convenient and looking the most comfortable. It did not matter that I was facing a bunch of people I don;t really hang out with-simply because I assume that since they are there in a social gathering, they should be able to conduct themselves in a manner of which is non-intrusive to those seated around them. In which they did. Hence since I was not disturbed and I was more than happy to sit there for a couple of hours.
I have seen this bunch of people before and I recognized them, they are young, daring and have a youthful alternative appeal. I then began to notice, many people casting really judgmental eyes and making me look like I was like their ring leader or something. [ In reality, most of friends were normal as hell and I am neither of the above actually- at least not to the extend of putting tattoos and studs in the noses.] For some reason too, really strange people whom I have seldom actually meet in real life began to walk in- these were people from all over the world and some people are really fascinated by this and began to follow me in as well as follow them in. There were more white people than I can remember in Singapore- I began to see them more and more often in coffee shops. There were Spanish speaking people the other day, Filipinos, Vietnamese, french, Americans, Brits, Indonesians, Indians and of course locals. There are about 1 million foreigners in Singapore and it is literally that the small coffee house contained like a dozens of different nationalities.
I was in the bus earlier, I was sitting next to several Caucasians, Filipinos, Indonesians and Japanese housewives- in a bus, excuse me. Maybe these snoopers thinking that I always surrounded by these melting pot of people are looking for some action- continue to display hyper-defensive attitude and make them look a little more available than most.
Actually i am aware of these little actions that tries to massage the context and environment which I situate in- normally once again, I let it slide simply because if the snoopers had made the effort to do this, what makes you think that there are other snoopers waiting too, to do something otherwise.
I am just fortunately unfortunate and if for some reason, like the previous entry I had indicated, they engage in these premeditated and calculated manner- they are really psychopaths and stalkers with no personal respect for privacy or really they want it so bad, that they are willing to do anything and these people are dangerous to handle. I just let them their fifteen minutes of fame, insofar that they keep quiet and allow me to do my thing.
Even if I look like Frankenstein or guppy, I will make them look fabulous insofar they do not intrude into what I am doing. [ by the way, there was this guy whom was sleeping and intruding into space- I just gave him big tongue lashing]
Good Night
Cheers
Eugene
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Phallus Symbol
I realise that some people will do anything perhaps just to gain an upper hand on anything. That includes the perception and projection of power. This is especially so if you have lots of experience and have an idea roughly how to project that and to gain compliance from people willingly, unwillingly, consciously or subconsciously. This ability is coupled with prevailing values, some psychological word play, a lot of figurative arm twisting and some form of latent bribery- of give and take between people of mutual interest.
It is not that I do not recognize that in real life, it is just that I find it chore to always watch every single gesture, and to time that to perfection and in sync with other people's mutual interest. In reality, I know that I have been a victim of alot tomfoolery regarding how I absorb things in class, and really the perception I project out to the opposite sex. I totally recognize that and at times, I was sort of "played out" in this manner. It is not that I do not care, but I really just find it a chore to do things in such a contrived manner that possession is like a manner of simply gaining compliance and acceptance. Perhaps, in this manner, in the conventional world, these people would probably be more successful in getting what they want- and that I do not deny- but I do not see any meaning in just in this particular case: a possession for possession sake.
My assumption in this case is that: for you or for one to act in such a calculated and premeditated manner, you must either be a psychopath with no respect for boundaries or that you must really want it so badly that you would act in a manner which you would give up many things in order to possesses it. Either case, I am not in the business of 1) being Clarice Starling in Silence of Lambs but in a wolf in sheep clothing's way 2) bother with one which obviously puts a price so high that he does not mind being seen, projected or spend as such.
I was watching David Letterman's interview with a young and beautiful actress: Jennifer Lawrence and I can totally relate to that above. He was simply planting in her head to say yes to a figurative "sexual act" by the manner of placing his hands and in phrasing the question in a manner which she could not say no. Either way, she fears offending him or basically saying something that isn't true.
Hence then the after effect would be that in the second meeting, Jennifer Lawrence cannot help but remember that she had said yes to a "sexual act" by way of figure of speech- but in reality, she really did not have a choice at all.
I am not going to act pure or anything or pretend that I am really a saint, and I am not. The difference is that I do it in manner which unambiguously open and always leave open a choice- I do not engage in covert psychological word play- and make the opposite person feel guilty or wronged that she led me on. In other words, she doesn't have a choice but to sleep with me simply because she said "yes" earlier.
Can you imagine if David Letterman interviewed her for the second time- for work or otherwise- and he did the same gesturing again and perhaps creatively switching the question instead, would Jennifer Lawrence have a chance to say no, and then maybe for the third time and the fourth time: do you then see the pattern. And eventually then, Jennifer Lawrence, oh well, might as well. Since she cannot win it, might as well just join in.
And on David Letterman's part, there is really nothing to lose: He will get to keep the job since she is above 18 anyway, and maybe will even increase his viewership and appeal.
In reality, I am a victim of the above myself, which means that my peers and I have been sidelined simply because of this projection of power on the female audience- and well since they have "bribed" my peers somewhat and they are in a position of authority, there is nothing much we can do about it actually. I did not pander to their wants because I did not want to corrupt my learning, even if I have a corrupted mind. Even if I get a lower grade or harder task, I would rather work harder, rather exchange for something as ephemeral as this. I would rather look bad or look stupid and walk out learning a little bit more than having learned nothing at all simply because the teacher gave me an easy time.
The teacher flipped on the words and said one thing one time and said another, another time- well other students kept quiet, well, they really don't care that much because the teacher gave them an easy ride.
I knew everything was premeditate and calculated, I just let it slide simply everyone have short changed themselves. The teacher lost the basic spirit of teaching, the students lost the spirit of learning. Well for the female audience, I can only say that do not try something you are unsure of and think that you can outfox them. Ask yourself, who is on your side, not tomorrow but rather 10 years later and then you will get your answer.
I will leave it to everyone to decide what is best for them.
Nights all.
Eugene
P/S: Look below for the video, and watch how Jennifer Lawrence was so uncomfortable at certain points and how when the sexually-laden questions are asked, where is David Letterman's hands-cue it it's a phallic symbol.
It is not that I do not recognize that in real life, it is just that I find it chore to always watch every single gesture, and to time that to perfection and in sync with other people's mutual interest. In reality, I know that I have been a victim of alot tomfoolery regarding how I absorb things in class, and really the perception I project out to the opposite sex. I totally recognize that and at times, I was sort of "played out" in this manner. It is not that I do not care, but I really just find it a chore to do things in such a contrived manner that possession is like a manner of simply gaining compliance and acceptance. Perhaps, in this manner, in the conventional world, these people would probably be more successful in getting what they want- and that I do not deny- but I do not see any meaning in just in this particular case: a possession for possession sake.
My assumption in this case is that: for you or for one to act in such a calculated and premeditated manner, you must either be a psychopath with no respect for boundaries or that you must really want it so badly that you would act in a manner which you would give up many things in order to possesses it. Either case, I am not in the business of 1) being Clarice Starling in Silence of Lambs but in a wolf in sheep clothing's way 2) bother with one which obviously puts a price so high that he does not mind being seen, projected or spend as such.
I was watching David Letterman's interview with a young and beautiful actress: Jennifer Lawrence and I can totally relate to that above. He was simply planting in her head to say yes to a figurative "sexual act" by the manner of placing his hands and in phrasing the question in a manner which she could not say no. Either way, she fears offending him or basically saying something that isn't true.
Hence then the after effect would be that in the second meeting, Jennifer Lawrence cannot help but remember that she had said yes to a "sexual act" by way of figure of speech- but in reality, she really did not have a choice at all.
I am not going to act pure or anything or pretend that I am really a saint, and I am not. The difference is that I do it in manner which unambiguously open and always leave open a choice- I do not engage in covert psychological word play- and make the opposite person feel guilty or wronged that she led me on. In other words, she doesn't have a choice but to sleep with me simply because she said "yes" earlier.
Can you imagine if David Letterman interviewed her for the second time- for work or otherwise- and he did the same gesturing again and perhaps creatively switching the question instead, would Jennifer Lawrence have a chance to say no, and then maybe for the third time and the fourth time: do you then see the pattern. And eventually then, Jennifer Lawrence, oh well, might as well. Since she cannot win it, might as well just join in.
And on David Letterman's part, there is really nothing to lose: He will get to keep the job since she is above 18 anyway, and maybe will even increase his viewership and appeal.
In reality, I am a victim of the above myself, which means that my peers and I have been sidelined simply because of this projection of power on the female audience- and well since they have "bribed" my peers somewhat and they are in a position of authority, there is nothing much we can do about it actually. I did not pander to their wants because I did not want to corrupt my learning, even if I have a corrupted mind. Even if I get a lower grade or harder task, I would rather work harder, rather exchange for something as ephemeral as this. I would rather look bad or look stupid and walk out learning a little bit more than having learned nothing at all simply because the teacher gave me an easy time.
The teacher flipped on the words and said one thing one time and said another, another time- well other students kept quiet, well, they really don't care that much because the teacher gave them an easy ride.
I knew everything was premeditate and calculated, I just let it slide simply everyone have short changed themselves. The teacher lost the basic spirit of teaching, the students lost the spirit of learning. Well for the female audience, I can only say that do not try something you are unsure of and think that you can outfox them. Ask yourself, who is on your side, not tomorrow but rather 10 years later and then you will get your answer.
I will leave it to everyone to decide what is best for them.
Nights all.
Eugene
P/S: Look below for the video, and watch how Jennifer Lawrence was so uncomfortable at certain points and how when the sexually-laden questions are asked, where is David Letterman's hands-cue it it's a phallic symbol.
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