Happiness and Mattel Barbie boxes

I used to treat people quite instrumentally. This means that I would only get closed to the person if he/she is useful to me or someone that I like. I thought that this was how the world worked- people make use of each other to get what they want.

As I began to grow older, I began to realise the importance of relationships. That sometimes, even though we have no use for each other, we should still treat each other with kindness.

Sometimes, I feel that if you do this because of karma, you are actually ruining the whole idea of treating with kindness. We must treat other with kindness with no notion of hoping to get something in return and that is when good things will happen to you serendipitously.

And as I grow older, I began to question the idea of relationships. Can you imagine if I married someone if I thought that this girl was pretty or is really rich or has the ability to bore me many children. What type of relationship would I have?

This means that I marry because it was the right time to marry and this particular person ticked all the right boxes. Or because social pressures to get married, we married the person simply because he/she was there and that's all.

I believed that many people married because they see all the nice pictures of couple living a life together and they want to have a piece of the nice and idyllic couple life- but how much do you know about your significant other and what have you done for him/her or what has she/he done for you?

They inwardly want to settle down so that they can enjoy the quiet and idyllic life of couple-hood or family life rather than truly being in love with person. This means that they have self-interested notions for the their significant other. If the significant other does not fit the bill, quarrels or arguments would ensue and things that take a turn for the worse.

I used to want to get married to this girl of dreams simply because she was really pretty, smart and graceful. I thought that she would fit nicely into my previous yuppie lifestyle of successful career, condo and car. But she dumped me and I thanked her for that. Simply because I wanted her to be my wife simply because of ideas of self-aggrandizement that's all. I wanted to enrich my ego and she fits the bill. I think she detected that and she dumped me for someone better- I better.

Imagine what would happen if we got married, I think we would be divorced her by now because I wasn't really interested in who she is but rather in how she can enrich my career or how she can enrich my self-worth.

But there are some whom are more interested in telling the "happy family" story that I believed that they got married and got kids simply to live this little dream of theirs. The significant other was simply the partner to live this dream of theirs. They have absolutely no notion of what the significant other likes or dislikes other than the fact that they checks all the boxes

They have an innate desire to be "happy" and hence they want a picture perfect "husband/ wife". Everything is planned carefully and they have no wish to deviate from their " picture perfect life"

We all want to be happy but it does not comes from an outward expression of what conventionally constitutes to be happy. And this does not comes from satisfying our own ego. Happiness comes from within and comes from sacrifices that you make not just for people whom you care for or loved but also for people who you have no familial or close ties with.

I just hope that people realise that happiness does not in Mattel Barbie boxes but rather with what you make of life that throws at you.