Your conscience

I have been smart and I always have a way around things. At the same time, I have an uncanny ability to know what people want. This makes me more important than I am actually made out to be.

I have ability to connect to people and somehow flesh out their inner most fear's and make the best out of them- I also have the ability to see people on all different levels. The difference however is not mutual. This means that I know what people want and that doesn't mean people know what I want.

The problem becomes extremely chronic when everyone has an vested interest in me- and everyone thinks that they have my best interest at heart and knows exactly I want or should want- but in reality, they merely project their wishes or desires onto me. They merely see what they don't have or wish to have onto me- and for some cosmic reason- that they would attain a certain amount of fulfillment from that.

You can only do that if you are an inanimate object like God or some idol where the only response- you would get is one asking you to do your own part and not projecting your own image onto somebody else. This is further compounded by the emotional attachment and investment that some have placed onto me as I am able to reflect their fears and desire in a manner of which they have hardly felt such intensity for.

Hence they have unhealthy possession over something which they do not know very well- thinking that they have a right over something simply because a connection has been made. Hence they have placed me on a pedestal of which I am quite unworthy of. I have become nothing more than a collection of qualities which they believed to be idealized version of someone they aspire to be or should be or want to be.

Maybe, I am better in many areas than many but that does not make me an ideal. Hence the only response for many hence is not one of understanding or recipocricity but rather one of master/slave, higher/lower, worker/manager type of relationship- simply because any other way makes me that difficult to understand. They justify all these actions simply circularly believed that they have the right hence they can do what they want.

Maybe the above is all really just very abstract things to most, but in sum, what this means is that, when you have the right or believed that you have the right- justify by some reason that you deemed is altrusitic or otherwise; which crosses the conscience barrier-, it doesn't mean you can do anything. Just because you can doesn't mean that you should. I can evoke the conscience argument again, but it just simply means that, some part of you will die when you do that however you strongly feel about that.

Eugene Signing off.