It's not you, it's me

I have broken up with my girlfriend for a couple of years and have been single for that long a time as well. From the very beginning, I have never made a deliberate attempt to really chase a girl. It just sort of happen. The only real time I have ever made a purposeful attempt- and that lasted a week or so of courtship- to do that, the only reason I really did that was that I wanted to feel how it would like to have a pretty girlfriend. Fortunately or unfortunately or so, we did hook up and it was breathless to say the least.

Since then, it would be quite difficult to get me breathless again- not because like I was still crazily pinning for my previous girlfriend- but rather, I can't seem to find something that I desperately want in a girl that would get me my mojo back. Every guy wants a beautiful girlfriend, it is dream that everyone wants to live- those that don't get it, eat sour grapes or you know lead an alternative lifestyle. But the truth is that, once you get it, you realise that it wasn't worth all the effort in the first place. Believe me you not, guys.

Hence now, I am reduced to really just "bird-watching", I would go "oh yeah". I might just make an attempt if it appears that there are signs but like the show "Bodyguard", a bevy of guys would to use the colloquial word "cock-block" it. And I have not even open my mouth.

Truth be told, these guys feel useful being useful but really just waiting for the chance where they can be a knight in shining armour waiting to save the damsel in distress of which their competition is really their friends- who have the same thoughts as well. My first thoughts was: "really". How long have you been hanging around her and are you really that protective- and by the way, my mom is trapped in train carriage, could you be a knight and save her too- a knight is chivalrous by nature rather than contingent on the opposite party right.

Hence, when I see such a scene, I normally don't make a move. Not because that I am intimidated or anything but rather, a person who thinks he is a knight is more dangerous than one who is really one- this is especially so, in events of absolutely zero mortality danger. They tend to get their blood rush to their head unwittingly and get their personal image as the actual reality. A girl is a girl is a girl- insofar that I don't know her, she is still a girl. Period.

Hence, I have realised that the number of such guys like the above is really quite astounding large hence, rather than excite a self-declared guard dog; I would rather sip my beer, watch my football and watch the girl flirting with everyone around her except those closest to her- waiting for her to give them a bone.

When they do get the girl, they would realise ultimately they are really just a substitute- and all the effort put out in being the "protector" and "security guard" suddenly paid off, but it's "conquest" almost seems hollow.

Therefore, I have to say to all the pretty girls and even the not so comely ones- I do notice you but as the cliche really goes and it's true: "it's not you, it is me."