The Long and Short of it

I am angry. Totally angry. I get mocked at for my balding plate. I get mocked at for being below 1.7m.

The thing that gets me the most is that why don't I get mocked at for having say my hairy chest. I have hairier chest than most but really perhaps thats where my hair went right. Moreover, you know what they say: testosterone is the main cause for a balding plate. Hence by extension, a balding man is really more manly- emits more male pheromones then say a man with full head of hair. A full head of hair presupposes virility- on the head that is. You are not really to playing with the hair. With you get excited by tousling a man's hair all the time, no man- if he is one- would really stand for it isn't it.

Hence at this juncture, let us make a case for a man with a full head of hair. Let's just see, well for one, he can look cool constantly combing his floppy hair. He can join a boy band filled with adolescent screaming teenage girls. He can compete with Ronaldo for shampoo and hair cream advertisement. He can of course participate in Kim Robinson's hairstyle demonstration. These are excellent perks one might say.

Well let us look at the case for balding man then in this case. We save alot on shampoos. We can make be the butt of all jokes. And of course, we do not need to contend with Ronaldo, we just need to take on the bald Italian referee. And lastly we make lot's of money being guinea pigs for thousand and one hair treatment clinics. We get paid for having too much testosterone. [ Well at least, hormones get paid rather than dealing with adolescent screaming girls right.]

Now then let's deal with being short. Think of Bernie Eccelston. I cannot think of tall rich man with strapping girlfriends or models. The only ones that are, are full time superstar athletes- you have contend with Ronaldo again and the Gisele Bundchen's All star quarterback husband. And what if you grow old and can't play the sport. You would be the old tall guy that sticks out and people will always ask you what did you do before.

Now let's talk about being tall. Well, there isn't much to talk about except that perhaps you can play basketball, volleyball until you are 35 that is.

Now what then can a young balding, short guy shorn of confidence to do when faced with overwhelming odds of a tall basketball captain who seems to have everything.

You play the point guard or forward in the basketball team. He will play the centre who catches the rebound and reaches for the ball while you attack the basket.

Do not get distracted by all the attention that this tall basketball captain get. It is natural that when you are centre of attention, everyone wants to get near you. But trust me, you me, things will get decidedly easier when physical attributes and sporting prowess suddenly becomes quite irrelevant as one gets older. Even that tall basketball captain would feel so, and if he is good looking, it is almost likely he will be an actor or musician- just to leverage on the good looks.

The young balding short guy would probably still remain so as he grows older, the only difference then and now would be that popularity no longer is the currency but something more lasting than that- and that of resilience and steadfastness.

Hence do not afraid to break away from the labels that people placed upon you as you get older. The only thing you need to break from is stop looking at the school belle but rather wait for the holidays before doing anything embarrassing and silly about that.