HisStory

Some people have asked me why do you treat working, jobs and a salary so easily and so flippantly? The point is I don't.

I enjoy working and the independence of which that comes with a pay cheque but sometimes there are something more important than that. Some might have call this foolish, but working and among alot of other things are means to an end. And in life, there is a work/life balance, family, marriage and passions among other things that dominate one's time in different points in life.

Not to brag or anything, even as I deny it, the fact remains in my life is that I am more than what my work entails. Which means that the expectations, the value and contributions that I bring is way way beyond what my purported job scope says. And it has been juggling so many expectations, "extra-job scope", job scope matters, external intervention- especially those of the unwelcome kind, private expectations, commitments and "masked" intervention. And from time to time, I would have to take priority of certain issues over "conventional" work.

Indeed, I did a good job of pretending that I have a normal job doing a normal work like everyone else the last couple of years but only because realization and acknowledging it means having to work on it and managing it on top of existing tasks. It would not be surprised then that more often than not, I would place work above everything else.

But after a while, I realised that the conventional work itself is a small sliver of my real work. I suspected only but only to begin to find out more when I realised that doing and obsessing over my conventional work is going to be futile because it would be like a hamster running on treadmill. You give the illusion of exertion but really you are going nowhere.

Therefore, it is at this point that, a part-time "detective" work took precedence over excelling my actual work. Think it about from my perspective: what if you realise that you are a hamster running in a caged tread mill, what then would you view the treadmill- stupid and silly isn't it.

And therefore, many have made me out as lazy and unwilling to play ball at work and not taking work seriously- then what if I tell you that the job itself is not that important, because the job is part of a larger scheme of things. how then would you approach your work: still as usual?

And once your curiosity is piqued and still no ones says anything, would you accept conventional wisdom and pretend that the whole thing is one happy Disneyland.

Of course, in order to find the truth, acting is part and parcel of the game. How then do we find the truth without jolting out the abnormality coupled with real life "method acting" of course.

And it would indeed easy to see the good guys from the bad ones- just by seeing how they take advantage of this so-called "misfortune" of mine. True to form, everything played out more nicely than I expected. And it is not a matter of survival- it is a matter of profiteering and greed. In fact, I should be the one to be scared because I am the one under threat rather than vice versa. They just swooped in that's all.

Indeed, those that spoke the loudest against me- spoke the truth. And it is through them that they reveal the truth.

Well, what is done is done. I have no other inclinations to exact revenge or anything, it is just too tiring. I am happy so long as they are happy.

The rest, well to me is just well, history.