Jane Austen does not exist.

A few days ago, I talked about the so-called open nature of female sexuality which is another word for "female emancipation." Let us just then put in more general terms- can we use sexuality as a justification- for "love", let us put aside the romantic notions- but use it for starting long-term relationships.

Just last century, female restraint on open display of romance is seen as a "come-hither", this means that "I am a good girl, and that is my attraction." but in recent decades, such notion appears to be more like "I am a good girl so I am expensive and therefore you better watch out." This is just one step away from " I am a bad girl so you better watch out."

This means that "a good girl" is really insofar not as "relationship material", but rather put on the shop window to be sold and consumed. This means that "such girls" don't exist but only in dreams and fantasy. And only "slutty" girls are considered as " relationship material".

There is a "loosening" of sexual monogamy but I really do not consider that as a loosening of moral standards. Chastity is important only if you cannot predict when your next child will come next. I really do not think that sexual standards is a function of higher morality but rather as an expression of love and affection. Given a choice, they would choose a condom over abstaining- let's be blunt here.

Having clear that out of the way, I really don't see how sexuality- male or female- cannot form the basis of a long term relationship. This does not mean promiscuity but rather an expression of it since the act itself is a choice.

Such conception of the "bridesmaid on the shop window" is simply confusing "loosening morality" with more "open sexual relations."- unless your beliefs or values run contrary to it, this argument is simply built on fantasy- who wants a slut for a wife.

Values and beliefs is a function of two forms of social control 1) emotional 2) social. Emotional means that when you commit pre-marital sex and you feel "guilty" about it, that's when you practice restraint. But it's really difficult in today's constant message of "sex" in mass media. 2) This means you fear being the talk of the town. This is not "values" or "beliefs" but rather a matter of surface acting. The point is why are you practicing restraint for what ends.

Hence if you have a slut for a wife- how then does it enhance your personal standing if your wife sleeps around and you don't- even for both conception of values and beliefs. This continues to puzzles me.

This slut for a wife fantasy is built on this mass media message of "sex sells". Everything related to "sex" sells. This means that if my wife is a slut, this means I am extremely marketable. But in truth, sex sells, if you really selling something sexy. Let us put it this way: how do you use sex to sell "man's shoes." Yes, that answer is in your head.

How then do you use sexuality as a basis for a long term relationship? Yes, once again you got it. Have lots of sex, have a lot of rubber on end, practice the clock and really if that is so important to you: morning after pills.

[ And you don't need to tell the whole world about it]