You know that you have a reach a quarter life crisis when you have no idea what you want for the next 30 years.
You probably might know what you want in a next few years but it is probably beyond the next few years that scares the living day lights out of everyone. Everyone starts to imagine that beyond the horizon is the end of the world and everything will just fall off like it when we didn't know that the earth is round and it is gravity that is pulling us together.
To be sure, I would have never thought I would have this form of dilemma. I would have think that having a good time for the last 30 years would give me the fatigue of a person that has too good a time for the first part of my life and see that I would fall into place with all the trappings of middle class family with 2.1 or now 1.4 kids and tattered boxers on Sundays.
I still wear tattered boxers on Sundays and strangely enough, I do not have the inclinations for the above and the harder I try to fall into place- the harder it seems to reject me. It almost seems that my past has almost caught up with me that having a good time does not make me a good specimen for the boring middle class life.
I am trying desperately to be fit in a as a Joneses but the strange thing is that the middle class wants my previous life- which is rather strange and unexpected actually. The Joneses that I know, hate me to the core and think that I am a vermin to their peaceful life.
But I think everyone settles eventually for something less than ideal, but really now- the "compromised" solution has something against me. This compromised solution which I was so ready to accept in the future when I was studying- in anticipation of this, I did not delay my gratification then but still got away with this- apparently want to me consume further.
The thing is that I always thought that there would be payback- when I was studying- but there was almost none forthcoming which made me wonder whether the song by the "Third Eye Blind" was true: "The Semi-Charmed Life".
To be sure, I would never expect to live a high life- I have middle class values and anything that I did not work for does not belong to me, that part is true. Swishing around in fanciful mise-en-scene is never my thing and conspicuous consumption and leisure to differentiate the classes: by Thorstein Veblen, was something I have never practiced and really do not know how to do that. I'll leave it to the old-monied to do their thing.
Hence I found it quite difficult to understand this rather strange situation that I am in and the images that have fed me before seems to be broken today and my "payback" did not come.
It is safe to say that the modern condition is such that gratification precedes everything else- instantaneous ones that is- but the payback does not always comes in the forms that you expect. Rome was not built in a day neither was it destroyed in a single day as well. That is always been the condition that have always preceded the previous generation- the lament of time gone by.
The current generation is always more debauchery than the last, and that there always reside an existential crisis of acceptance or envelopment. The dichotomy has been false and has always been false. It is almost like the force of history is undeniable and that all trends is irreversible- which trend has remain irreversible, can anyone with even an inkling of history tell me that?
Evil used to reside in dark woods, now they say it exist in the internet and the computer. They say that science was evil just a few hundred years ago and now look around you. They also say that atomic bomb was the end of the world and how many countries rely on nuclear energy to power the countries.
They say that there is this irreversible trajectory of evil that continues to engulf every form of society, that whats they say about lonely sad woman who practiced abit of esoteric magic- and burned them as witches. Now in certain parts of world, some women are stoned to death for being- raped-. Now who is more evil then?
It is always easy to see things in black and white, good and evil- but everything in hindsight, seen in particular context have met with tragedy, whats make it anymore different now.
Hence seen from this context, I am in a limbo- I still do not know what to do with my life, and as apparently the compromised solution of- sailing only far enough to fish- is not good enough for modern life. But we'll see.
P/S: when Galileo told the world earth was round and not flat, no one believed him. I wouldn't be surprised that you don't to.
Monday, January 28, 2013
Sunday, January 27, 2013
Categorically happy
You know that you are in a limbo when you are really don't give a damn about who you are with.
At a certain stage in life, you just don't really care whether you have anyone to go out with. Today is a day and tomorrow will be another.
If someone comes and pops up well and good- if it doesn't, then so be it as well.
This is not resignation, it's not because one can't but rather one just can't seem to muster the energy to go through the whole thing.
I think if it is not convenient, it is almost not worth the effort. And the best part is that effort is almost the prerequisite for everything- and the more effort, one puts in, the more inconvenient it becomes.
Once you get the feet wet, you really don't want to get it wet again if it is too troublesome. As in you get the experience of it- then you will realize that, there are so many things in this world, why the obsession with one single one.
Therefore, when you are at a particular stage, you will feel that come what may- there are a thousand and one things to fret over than constantly worry about that one thing.
Hence if it is it is to be it- then you should let sleeping dogs lie. I don't expect to have much changes in the near future and I do not wish to have it any other way.
Therefore I can categorically declare that I am happy where I am- and really don't expect much changes from me.
At a certain stage in life, you just don't really care whether you have anyone to go out with. Today is a day and tomorrow will be another.
If someone comes and pops up well and good- if it doesn't, then so be it as well.
This is not resignation, it's not because one can't but rather one just can't seem to muster the energy to go through the whole thing.
I think if it is not convenient, it is almost not worth the effort. And the best part is that effort is almost the prerequisite for everything- and the more effort, one puts in, the more inconvenient it becomes.
Once you get the feet wet, you really don't want to get it wet again if it is too troublesome. As in you get the experience of it- then you will realize that, there are so many things in this world, why the obsession with one single one.
Therefore, when you are at a particular stage, you will feel that come what may- there are a thousand and one things to fret over than constantly worry about that one thing.
Hence if it is it is to be it- then you should let sleeping dogs lie. I don't expect to have much changes in the near future and I do not wish to have it any other way.
Therefore I can categorically declare that I am happy where I am- and really don't expect much changes from me.
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Tautology
This was written back 12 something on 23/1 Wednesday at Starbucks:
I am first to tell you that I really am not that prolific: but I want, i would normally get. And what I want is always something that I never have before.
You might think that I am like a wise old sage and have all the tricks up my sleeve and like a playbook of tricks that I pulled every time I want something. There is really nothing to dissect here simply because I don't even know what is the appeal in the first place.
And in the second place: I have never really chased a girl before. The only time I did: I chased for a week and well something did happen. I don't think I have ever be friends with a girl I liked. I always like the chasing part and never really liked this meandering way- it sort of take the fun out of everything.
But now, there is a hanging out culture- but well, my time is best doing things with an objective then with girls and practical stuff mixing together. I feel my time is being short-changed.
I have never ask a girl out to study on the pretext of anything else or to do a project just to get some time together. I am really not good at mixing these two together.
When I go out, it is to have dinner and to have drinks- everything else is game on. I really don't like to hang out- there must always be something to do.
That's why I tell you I have never really chased anyone before- it always sort of happen. I feel sometimes I am being conned than I am really chasing someone.
Everything else that happens always happens after that.
Maybe I am latent romantic: everything in it's good time. That's why I still have no idea how did this player thing happened- if it ever did-.
I am probably the worst player in the world I think- because when women cry I always lose. I have been tricked so many times by that, I sometimes wonder whether I should walk out or stay. But anyway, normally I stick around until I wait for a better time. Oh I never do the I dont answer your phone trick- you will know when I am getting rid of you. I just think it is plain rude and really unclassy.
For anyone who thinks that I am Lothario- you must have your head and eyes checked first.
And no, my heart is not broken. It never was. And no, I do not pine for anyone in the past, I really am happy like that- I still don't know what is the big deal.
I have many things going on before and now- why should I really regret whatever that has happened.
You can ask the taxi driver whether he wants to drive the taxi after three years on the job- they can tell you that it is for survival that's all. There is not much makan places to explore anymore.
He just want to drive to work and meet up with his fellow drivers for drinks and go home- everything else trust me, is just a bonus.
Alright, let's put out this hypothetical situation that I become terribly excited about everything. The first thing I would do is to drop everything and head to the beach right. Why the hell would I be terribly excited about things that I could and have done before.
Let me give you this 'holier than thou' speech that I know it is really cliche. I like to tell you that when you reach 30, you will be free and everything will be exciting because you have the freedom. The last thing you want to do at that age is really sleep. Any other thing is just a bonus.
And yes, when we have money, we will always find you irritating because simply you are occupying the space when you are better off somewhere else. True story.
I have studied in airport before and everywhere else- and I thought I was really fun. But now I know the security guard just want to get rid of me.
The manager is simply looking at you now- and noting how you much you are spending.
Oh, by the way, the clock will always come a full circle. The school prefect became a tattoo artist, the bad boy was the first to get married and the nerds went to the gym and became very buff. The school sportsman never got a girlfriend- strangely.
And the rest of us will simply cop out an be boring. True story. And you will forget most of them by the time you are 30 if you are worth any salt by then.
Have Fun.
I am first to tell you that I really am not that prolific: but I want, i would normally get. And what I want is always something that I never have before.
You might think that I am like a wise old sage and have all the tricks up my sleeve and like a playbook of tricks that I pulled every time I want something. There is really nothing to dissect here simply because I don't even know what is the appeal in the first place.
And in the second place: I have never really chased a girl before. The only time I did: I chased for a week and well something did happen. I don't think I have ever be friends with a girl I liked. I always like the chasing part and never really liked this meandering way- it sort of take the fun out of everything.
But now, there is a hanging out culture- but well, my time is best doing things with an objective then with girls and practical stuff mixing together. I feel my time is being short-changed.
I have never ask a girl out to study on the pretext of anything else or to do a project just to get some time together. I am really not good at mixing these two together.
When I go out, it is to have dinner and to have drinks- everything else is game on. I really don't like to hang out- there must always be something to do.
That's why I tell you I have never really chased anyone before- it always sort of happen. I feel sometimes I am being conned than I am really chasing someone.
Everything else that happens always happens after that.
Maybe I am latent romantic: everything in it's good time. That's why I still have no idea how did this player thing happened- if it ever did-.
I am probably the worst player in the world I think- because when women cry I always lose. I have been tricked so many times by that, I sometimes wonder whether I should walk out or stay. But anyway, normally I stick around until I wait for a better time. Oh I never do the I dont answer your phone trick- you will know when I am getting rid of you. I just think it is plain rude and really unclassy.
For anyone who thinks that I am Lothario- you must have your head and eyes checked first.
And no, my heart is not broken. It never was. And no, I do not pine for anyone in the past, I really am happy like that- I still don't know what is the big deal.
I have many things going on before and now- why should I really regret whatever that has happened.
You can ask the taxi driver whether he wants to drive the taxi after three years on the job- they can tell you that it is for survival that's all. There is not much makan places to explore anymore.
He just want to drive to work and meet up with his fellow drivers for drinks and go home- everything else trust me, is just a bonus.
Alright, let's put out this hypothetical situation that I become terribly excited about everything. The first thing I would do is to drop everything and head to the beach right. Why the hell would I be terribly excited about things that I could and have done before.
Let me give you this 'holier than thou' speech that I know it is really cliche. I like to tell you that when you reach 30, you will be free and everything will be exciting because you have the freedom. The last thing you want to do at that age is really sleep. Any other thing is just a bonus.
And yes, when we have money, we will always find you irritating because simply you are occupying the space when you are better off somewhere else. True story.
I have studied in airport before and everywhere else- and I thought I was really fun. But now I know the security guard just want to get rid of me.
The manager is simply looking at you now- and noting how you much you are spending.
Oh, by the way, the clock will always come a full circle. The school prefect became a tattoo artist, the bad boy was the first to get married and the nerds went to the gym and became very buff. The school sportsman never got a girlfriend- strangely.
And the rest of us will simply cop out an be boring. True story. And you will forget most of them by the time you are 30 if you are worth any salt by then.
Have Fun.
The exotic
This was written at Starbucks at about 11 something on 22/1:
Disclaimer: Do not take the below literally but as a figure of speech. Essentializing anything is wrong by any context but it is always inevitable and unavoidable.
It might be difficult to explain this hamster in a threadmill concept.
You see the idea of an exotic is the 'other' it is exotic simply because it is different. Ask the American colonist whether 'negro' woman where exotic- they would tell you that you were crazy. They are 'barbarians' to them- and what if you mate with a 'barbarian', it makes you a mongrel right. I know all of these sounds racist but that is the historical context then. 100 years from now- you would either be extremely progressive or really stupid- but now, it just makes one rather stupid if your idea of an exotic is someone you 'deemed' inferior right- and just because he/she is different.
This is extremely racist I know- but this is extrapolating your rationality. I mean if you say you love the person- then sorry all these is crap now.
Let us just say that this exotic person's country becomes extremely prosperous one century later- ah then you will the jackpot- but by then you will be dead. I seriously doubt anyone thinks so far in terms of sex right.
One of the American President was considered progressive now but kept them as slaves then because he fought for their rights but he did some stuff and it was never exotic in first place. I suspect it is a manner of convenience that's all.
Hence there are in some people's mind that different is exotic and therefore positive- must be get their brain checked. Because if that is so- Abraham Lincoln must be really stupid for not treating slaves as exotic. I not saying that all exotics are slaves, I am just checking what is in the little head that's all.
There are several markers of which some people like to used to differentiate the incompatibility. 1) race 2) class 3) socio economic status 4) age
And yup, I have not get hitched for a few years now and no, I acutely aware of all these differentiating factors. But it simply just means that we are different and no simply because people ignore that doesn't mean that I must have a particular urgency to pursue that afraid of being left behind.
For one, I am not young anymore- I am not a spring chicken neither do I pretend to be one. The rest of it well- should not be a factor. Too much is too much.
There is this over-riding concern with having a breakthrough- it is sort of like a coup'de'ta to have something different from the above. Once again I have to preach to you- sometimes, it is really not worth it. Anyone who watch Korean drama with nasty rich in laws- ah, that I can tell you is true. You eat with snout at home and when you eat with them- it is really out of body experience and very uncomfortable.
I was trained to be like this- and it learnt a lot and it is really useful- but the expectations and habits are so different. But it is really hard to have the cake and eat as well. It is so tiring to eat and watch what you eat and how you eat it too- I mean literally.
Ok, assuming that omnia vinci armour: then, you better have all your pride cracked open. Otherwise, just stick with carpe diem- or seize the day.
For everyone who pretends that you can have the cake it as well- like the above- you are better off baking the cake and eating it or sharing with someone. It is a long shot and will always be a long shot- I am not sure why would anyone would have the idea why we have Korean Dramas for: provide the spectacle just so that you can forget about reality.
And just for your info: not all cleaning ladies are so pretty.
Disclaimer: Do not take the below literally but as a figure of speech. Essentializing anything is wrong by any context but it is always inevitable and unavoidable.
It might be difficult to explain this hamster in a threadmill concept.
You see the idea of an exotic is the 'other' it is exotic simply because it is different. Ask the American colonist whether 'negro' woman where exotic- they would tell you that you were crazy. They are 'barbarians' to them- and what if you mate with a 'barbarian', it makes you a mongrel right. I know all of these sounds racist but that is the historical context then. 100 years from now- you would either be extremely progressive or really stupid- but now, it just makes one rather stupid if your idea of an exotic is someone you 'deemed' inferior right- and just because he/she is different.
This is extremely racist I know- but this is extrapolating your rationality. I mean if you say you love the person- then sorry all these is crap now.
Let us just say that this exotic person's country becomes extremely prosperous one century later- ah then you will the jackpot- but by then you will be dead. I seriously doubt anyone thinks so far in terms of sex right.
One of the American President was considered progressive now but kept them as slaves then because he fought for their rights but he did some stuff and it was never exotic in first place. I suspect it is a manner of convenience that's all.
Hence there are in some people's mind that different is exotic and therefore positive- must be get their brain checked. Because if that is so- Abraham Lincoln must be really stupid for not treating slaves as exotic. I not saying that all exotics are slaves, I am just checking what is in the little head that's all.
There are several markers of which some people like to used to differentiate the incompatibility. 1) race 2) class 3) socio economic status 4) age
And yup, I have not get hitched for a few years now and no, I acutely aware of all these differentiating factors. But it simply just means that we are different and no simply because people ignore that doesn't mean that I must have a particular urgency to pursue that afraid of being left behind.
For one, I am not young anymore- I am not a spring chicken neither do I pretend to be one. The rest of it well- should not be a factor. Too much is too much.
There is this over-riding concern with having a breakthrough- it is sort of like a coup'de'ta to have something different from the above. Once again I have to preach to you- sometimes, it is really not worth it. Anyone who watch Korean drama with nasty rich in laws- ah, that I can tell you is true. You eat with snout at home and when you eat with them- it is really out of body experience and very uncomfortable.
I was trained to be like this- and it learnt a lot and it is really useful- but the expectations and habits are so different. But it is really hard to have the cake and eat as well. It is so tiring to eat and watch what you eat and how you eat it too- I mean literally.
Ok, assuming that omnia vinci armour: then, you better have all your pride cracked open. Otherwise, just stick with carpe diem- or seize the day.
For everyone who pretends that you can have the cake it as well- like the above- you are better off baking the cake and eating it or sharing with someone. It is a long shot and will always be a long shot- I am not sure why would anyone would have the idea why we have Korean Dramas for: provide the spectacle just so that you can forget about reality.
And just for your info: not all cleaning ladies are so pretty.
The threadmill and the cage
I was sitting outside the cinema at about 9 something in town on 22/1 Tuesday:
I wonder one very simple thing that: what is really terribly great about pretending having something when you really don't have it.
I have never pretended to be popular when I am really not. I never pretended to be successful when I really not. Less and most of all, I never pretend to be better than you when I am really not. Truth is that- I would rather sip coffee and watch the world go by than to pretend the world is in love with me or the world cares about what I think.
I used to treat everyone with pretense of any desire to be well-known with vehemence. Now I really just let it be. What is so good about being famous- you cannot eat a burger without looking stupid. I really do not understand with this obsession.
On one of the social network status, I put this as an ordinary person with average looks, short with premature balding. And I really do not understand this fixation with being interesting for the sake of it. It's like being interesting because nothing really interest you. Apathy is interesting up to a certain point- anything beyond the passive aggressive thing is simply gag-worthy.
At this moment, I have to tell you that I am at this stage. Nothing really gets me up now. I have always to hated to give this 'holier than thou' attitude but I really have to say that I really do know more than you. It's hard to know something without being preachy. But everyone gets the drift.
People interest me- not because they are interesting but they are so typical that sometimes I find it more interesting to note the habits than to show any interest.
Have you watch the hamster run the threadmill and have you run on the threadmill before- do you know the difference now.
Running the threadmill is fun when at the end of it, you get the reward- but when you are the owner- what is more interesting- or stepped outside the cage and see your peers running on it. You found it almost silly when it is better to run across the hallway.
Some people have asked me why do you allow people to make fun of you or disrespect you- my answer is: have you ever seen the hamster run the threadmill in a cage and keeping their storage underneath a coat of sand built by you. And when they see you, they run the threadmill- in hope of more food or other form of deviant exertions.
Yes, it is sad I know. But the only cure for this is amnesia and the only other choice would be to stay outside the cage and allow the fools to rush in.
You see the sad thing would be that your friends and people whom you run the threadmill with are still inside the cage- refusing to step outside it and see things beyond the threadmill. And the moment you mention this little 'secret' to them- they freeze- because that is the only thing that they know or will ever know.
Hence would you run back to the cage if you are me or run around the hallway- 'abandoning' your 'comrades'. The only ever thing that one would ever do is what is beyond the hallway and not what is underneath the threadmill.
Not sure- why it always comes back to women or sex. The above is quite different from it. Assuming that I have bed all the women from different countries- does that make me the hamster running across the hallway. It would if I want to be Maquis de Sade or Don Juan- but trust me there are many other things more important than ejaculation.
Just the other day, I decided to buy some books just for the heck of it. I found out that Holly Golightly is really a call girl unequivocally and not just a social escort like in the movie. Now- what is the big deal- seriously. Can you imagine all the girls who wants to Audrey Hepburn in breakfast at Tiffany's is really trying to be a high class prostitute- now what is so glamorous about that.
And can you see all the girls on the thread mill- trying to be a high class prostitute now... If I put it like that, it really sounds ridiculous- but read the book, true story.
So, anyone would wants to be anyone and tries to be do something just for the heck of it or think that it is what it is made up to be: will bear the brunt of the full force of reality- sooner or later. You have your reward, that's because I want you to- you sucker. Go and be your Audrey Hepburn- you will enjoy it and wait till the end- by the way she was the mafia's moll and messenger as well. Reality will not ship you off to Brazil to marry a future PM with fugitive though. It will most likely from Trainspotting- puking into a disused toilet bowl- as a druggie.
Hence anyone can be anyone you want or be with just insofar that remember: Breakfast at Tiffany's is a book and a movie- and she was orphan and was a pedophilia victim. Seriously.
I wonder one very simple thing that: what is really terribly great about pretending having something when you really don't have it.
I have never pretended to be popular when I am really not. I never pretended to be successful when I really not. Less and most of all, I never pretend to be better than you when I am really not. Truth is that- I would rather sip coffee and watch the world go by than to pretend the world is in love with me or the world cares about what I think.
I used to treat everyone with pretense of any desire to be well-known with vehemence. Now I really just let it be. What is so good about being famous- you cannot eat a burger without looking stupid. I really do not understand with this obsession.
On one of the social network status, I put this as an ordinary person with average looks, short with premature balding. And I really do not understand this fixation with being interesting for the sake of it. It's like being interesting because nothing really interest you. Apathy is interesting up to a certain point- anything beyond the passive aggressive thing is simply gag-worthy.
At this moment, I have to tell you that I am at this stage. Nothing really gets me up now. I have always to hated to give this 'holier than thou' attitude but I really have to say that I really do know more than you. It's hard to know something without being preachy. But everyone gets the drift.
People interest me- not because they are interesting but they are so typical that sometimes I find it more interesting to note the habits than to show any interest.
Have you watch the hamster run the threadmill and have you run on the threadmill before- do you know the difference now.
Running the threadmill is fun when at the end of it, you get the reward- but when you are the owner- what is more interesting- or stepped outside the cage and see your peers running on it. You found it almost silly when it is better to run across the hallway.
Some people have asked me why do you allow people to make fun of you or disrespect you- my answer is: have you ever seen the hamster run the threadmill in a cage and keeping their storage underneath a coat of sand built by you. And when they see you, they run the threadmill- in hope of more food or other form of deviant exertions.
Yes, it is sad I know. But the only cure for this is amnesia and the only other choice would be to stay outside the cage and allow the fools to rush in.
You see the sad thing would be that your friends and people whom you run the threadmill with are still inside the cage- refusing to step outside it and see things beyond the threadmill. And the moment you mention this little 'secret' to them- they freeze- because that is the only thing that they know or will ever know.
Hence would you run back to the cage if you are me or run around the hallway- 'abandoning' your 'comrades'. The only ever thing that one would ever do is what is beyond the hallway and not what is underneath the threadmill.
Not sure- why it always comes back to women or sex. The above is quite different from it. Assuming that I have bed all the women from different countries- does that make me the hamster running across the hallway. It would if I want to be Maquis de Sade or Don Juan- but trust me there are many other things more important than ejaculation.
Just the other day, I decided to buy some books just for the heck of it. I found out that Holly Golightly is really a call girl unequivocally and not just a social escort like in the movie. Now- what is the big deal- seriously. Can you imagine all the girls who wants to Audrey Hepburn in breakfast at Tiffany's is really trying to be a high class prostitute- now what is so glamorous about that.
And can you see all the girls on the thread mill- trying to be a high class prostitute now... If I put it like that, it really sounds ridiculous- but read the book, true story.
So, anyone would wants to be anyone and tries to be do something just for the heck of it or think that it is what it is made up to be: will bear the brunt of the full force of reality- sooner or later. You have your reward, that's because I want you to- you sucker. Go and be your Audrey Hepburn- you will enjoy it and wait till the end- by the way she was the mafia's moll and messenger as well. Reality will not ship you off to Brazil to marry a future PM with fugitive though. It will most likely from Trainspotting- puking into a disused toilet bowl- as a druggie.
Hence anyone can be anyone you want or be with just insofar that remember: Breakfast at Tiffany's is a book and a movie- and she was orphan and was a pedophilia victim. Seriously.
Pandora's Box at the Office: Part 2
This was written at about 7 something to 8 something at a cafe in town on 22/1 Tues:
I can safely tell you that I have never worked for money in my life before. Not that, I have always been provided for but rather money has always been a means to an end than an end itself.
I can safely tell you that the amount of money that I bragged about is not because I am extremely proud of it but rather I still don't understand what's the big hooha about having that much money.
I have walked into the Sentosa houses worth more than $40 million dollars before and have met people with more money than God- and all they really want is some privacy that's all.
All they ever wanted was someone to advise them somberly and not look at the number or zeros in their account and go salivating. They are so ordinary that you would think that they belong to retiree home. I have signed a deal worth more than half a million dollars at the void deck of a three room HDB flat.
I have signed a loan deal over the phone worth more than 5 million dollars without once meeting them formally. I still don't understand the concept of looking the part of being professional and all so expert.
I bought a house worth more than our current HDB flat with my mom within 2 hours of viewing the showflat- and I still don't see the big deal about my apartment really.
I still don't really what is the big deal about working for the sake for working and looking nice doing it. I have to work I know but if you worked in a oil rig earning half a million dollars and looking dirty- the choice is rather clear.
Most office workers who knocked on time do not earn more than $4,000 dollars trust me. There is really nothing to shout about when you have a car to pay, KTV to go and LV wallets to buy.
Most people enjoy the idea of working and not why they work in the first place. They like to feel productive but the productivity does not commensurate with the money though. Hence they engage in mundane activities that never add value to their c.v or company- they like to be looked to be working than really working.
Hence when I started to work- it was rather frustrated with the ineptness of many. They had the capacity to do but for some apparent reason- they refused to see the importance of doing what is useful rather than what should be.
It was not that difficult to move up in that environment because simply I did anything to achieve my objective. And I have my own personal agenda in mind as well- the idea was rather simple- would you do something if you have the choice to do- and if it is yes, what is stopping you?
And if it means getting the job down just to get your job done- why is there so many other constraints.
I am going to sound like a maverick in a company but everyone who knows me at work that I am anything but. I didn't produce miracles- I just do anything that have to done that's all.
And if they don't pay me enough to do all these and it does nothing to my career- why bother with a stinking company in the first place.
I would be first to voice out and last to complain. I have spoke out to management before regardless of their rank and no one has ever complained about my work ethic once.
They will know- the results count for itself really. They just refused to see it and I refused to comply if it doesn't suit my career objectives. Why should I- you hire me to do a job and I am here on a salary and I have my youth to think of to.
Yes, I should have respect but I respect the position and not the person- if it doesn't warrant it- and if there is an issue, i always go through proper channels and never circumvent the position. Hence till this day, I still have a good c.v and my reputation precedes me most of the time and they always get what they want and more. Whatever they sticks is most hearsay and whatever that is inside is always evidential- hence do you ever think that I cannot do the job, not once have that doubt crossed my mind.
The pastures is always greener on the other side- I am the other side- not the other company. This has never been lost in my mind- they just cannot handle it that's all.
I have heard so many weird stories about me from me forging signatures to transfer money to my account to me and that's why I have so many things to things like I slashed price and share things indiscriminately.
How can I be sharing things indiscriminately when most of the info belongs to me. If I am smart and people believed me and think is valuable- which part of the information that comes from my mouth belongs to the company.
I did my private research and people have faith in me- which part of the faith is proprietary to the company- surprises me.
And if I eat salmon sandwich for lunch and suddenly salmon sandwich becomes popular- does it mean that my diet also belongs to the company.
I eat because I like to eat- whatever does it got to do with my work.
And even if I am overdoing part of my job- what has that got to with my colleagues- I am underpaid, not you right. I have my own agenda and maybe the boss likes me for being underpaid- so can you- but I still have a better c.v than most right. So really who is the stupid one.
Hence my c.v is still the best record- whatever anyone can say. And do you really afraid that I would be jobless for long- apparently more people are more worried about me than I am about myself.
Like I always say, do not confuse what I can have with what I don't have.
Anyway, I have many friends pressing home their career 'superiority'- the best part that many have told me is that they have travelled around the world- but doing the same thing. How has doing the same thing and travelling around the world figure in a c.v continues to surprise me. Unless you are interviewing to be a tour guide or something that is.
I have travelled to a few countries- paid by company- to have fun that is.
I am never pressing home to say that I have best career that everyone has- but there isn't a need to say that I am better than you because I travel around the world. An air steward travels more often than you. There isn't really a need to compare who makes more money than you- unless you are chasing a gal- and if the gal chooses on that account, I would gladly step aside.
I am just glad that you have been promoted so many times and have a glamourous job- I am not jealous, I am not sure why is there a need to prove one is right.
Well the difference is that i made the strait times and you didn't- I didn't say it- they said it. So just suck it ok.
I can safely tell you that I have never worked for money in my life before. Not that, I have always been provided for but rather money has always been a means to an end than an end itself.
I can safely tell you that the amount of money that I bragged about is not because I am extremely proud of it but rather I still don't understand what's the big hooha about having that much money.
I have walked into the Sentosa houses worth more than $40 million dollars before and have met people with more money than God- and all they really want is some privacy that's all.
All they ever wanted was someone to advise them somberly and not look at the number or zeros in their account and go salivating. They are so ordinary that you would think that they belong to retiree home. I have signed a deal worth more than half a million dollars at the void deck of a three room HDB flat.
I have signed a loan deal over the phone worth more than 5 million dollars without once meeting them formally. I still don't understand the concept of looking the part of being professional and all so expert.
I bought a house worth more than our current HDB flat with my mom within 2 hours of viewing the showflat- and I still don't see the big deal about my apartment really.
I still don't really what is the big deal about working for the sake for working and looking nice doing it. I have to work I know but if you worked in a oil rig earning half a million dollars and looking dirty- the choice is rather clear.
Most office workers who knocked on time do not earn more than $4,000 dollars trust me. There is really nothing to shout about when you have a car to pay, KTV to go and LV wallets to buy.
Most people enjoy the idea of working and not why they work in the first place. They like to feel productive but the productivity does not commensurate with the money though. Hence they engage in mundane activities that never add value to their c.v or company- they like to be looked to be working than really working.
Hence when I started to work- it was rather frustrated with the ineptness of many. They had the capacity to do but for some apparent reason- they refused to see the importance of doing what is useful rather than what should be.
It was not that difficult to move up in that environment because simply I did anything to achieve my objective. And I have my own personal agenda in mind as well- the idea was rather simple- would you do something if you have the choice to do- and if it is yes, what is stopping you?
And if it means getting the job down just to get your job done- why is there so many other constraints.
I am going to sound like a maverick in a company but everyone who knows me at work that I am anything but. I didn't produce miracles- I just do anything that have to done that's all.
And if they don't pay me enough to do all these and it does nothing to my career- why bother with a stinking company in the first place.
I would be first to voice out and last to complain. I have spoke out to management before regardless of their rank and no one has ever complained about my work ethic once.
They will know- the results count for itself really. They just refused to see it and I refused to comply if it doesn't suit my career objectives. Why should I- you hire me to do a job and I am here on a salary and I have my youth to think of to.
Yes, I should have respect but I respect the position and not the person- if it doesn't warrant it- and if there is an issue, i always go through proper channels and never circumvent the position. Hence till this day, I still have a good c.v and my reputation precedes me most of the time and they always get what they want and more. Whatever they sticks is most hearsay and whatever that is inside is always evidential- hence do you ever think that I cannot do the job, not once have that doubt crossed my mind.
The pastures is always greener on the other side- I am the other side- not the other company. This has never been lost in my mind- they just cannot handle it that's all.
I have heard so many weird stories about me from me forging signatures to transfer money to my account to me and that's why I have so many things to things like I slashed price and share things indiscriminately.
How can I be sharing things indiscriminately when most of the info belongs to me. If I am smart and people believed me and think is valuable- which part of the information that comes from my mouth belongs to the company.
I did my private research and people have faith in me- which part of the faith is proprietary to the company- surprises me.
And if I eat salmon sandwich for lunch and suddenly salmon sandwich becomes popular- does it mean that my diet also belongs to the company.
I eat because I like to eat- whatever does it got to do with my work.
And even if I am overdoing part of my job- what has that got to with my colleagues- I am underpaid, not you right. I have my own agenda and maybe the boss likes me for being underpaid- so can you- but I still have a better c.v than most right. So really who is the stupid one.
Hence my c.v is still the best record- whatever anyone can say. And do you really afraid that I would be jobless for long- apparently more people are more worried about me than I am about myself.
Like I always say, do not confuse what I can have with what I don't have.
Anyway, I have many friends pressing home their career 'superiority'- the best part that many have told me is that they have travelled around the world- but doing the same thing. How has doing the same thing and travelling around the world figure in a c.v continues to surprise me. Unless you are interviewing to be a tour guide or something that is.
I have travelled to a few countries- paid by company- to have fun that is.
I am never pressing home to say that I have best career that everyone has- but there isn't a need to say that I am better than you because I travel around the world. An air steward travels more often than you. There isn't really a need to compare who makes more money than you- unless you are chasing a gal- and if the gal chooses on that account, I would gladly step aside.
I am just glad that you have been promoted so many times and have a glamourous job- I am not jealous, I am not sure why is there a need to prove one is right.
Well the difference is that i made the strait times and you didn't- I didn't say it- they said it. So just suck it ok.
Pandora's Box
This was written at Coffee Bean in town at about 5 something on 22/1 Tuesday:
When I was university, I wanted any girl- anyone will do- I just went for the any Mary or Jane. I am not sure why- because I think it was time to be stupid I suppose. But I went home with a bachelor and merit at the end of three years in spite of spending the night before the exam at the karaoke anyway.
When I was 17, I don't even want a girlfriend. The only reason I had one was because my head was bursting just before the exam and I had to tell someone that I sort of crush on and we got together after the ' O' levels- just so I can clear my head. True story.
But anyway, she believed it and we moved along and I still managed to make it to university and was in school football team and was the class rep all at the same time- and so you can still suck it. I am perfect I know.
When I started to work, all I ever wanted to do was to get my mom off my back just so that she won't come after me. I quit once and told her I wanted to be a writer- and she flipped.
Ok, the writer thing didn't work out but I was an editor of a one off magazine which was started by a few guys I met over the Internet. It was one issue and I did the editing.
Then one day, I looked into my account and realised that there wasn't much money and hence I decided to start work again and the writing thing became a part time thing. And suddenly 3 years after graduation, I felt an insane urge to do well- so I worked my ass off.
Not sure why, that 2-3 years of my life brought me to this point. Now, I can safely tell you that I can walk into any firm and they will hire me on the spot. Just so that my 2-3 years is worth 20 in many people's c.v.
And when you have such a c.v- everyone treats you like the boss and it helps getting whatever you want. People come to you and not the other way around.
Women I would have to say become quite dispensable- I have to say. But not to say that it was one-sided, they have made use of me too so I have really nothing to complain.
I really don't think a lot about my ex-girlfriends really. The only time, i ever remember is when people reminds me about it. And I really don't see why people is so hung up who I go out with or whom I have went out with.
Although, sometimes I wish we were still together but when we have broken up, we have broken up and if you have ability to court her- please be my guest. There is a reason that everything didn't turn out fine and if you so wish and if anyone is up to it- I won't stop you. It's her life and not mine to say no- regardless of whatever history.
This is really a rather simple concept- yes I do get jealous and no, I stick to the principle that when everyone has broken up- please be my guest. I have no idea why do people have this idea that just because I am human I would forget all my experience over the years.
I still stand by everything that my door is always open regardless of who you are or what you did- it is your prerogative to knock it. And I will not let my personal exertions get in the way of the things I have learnt over the years.
I am not a choir boy- and I won't deny it. And no I have never smoked before even if it is so alluring and likewise what makes anyone think that just because one has experience, one is incapable of controlling one's impulses- continues to puzzles me.
In fact, once you look back- one will realize that there is nothing really mysterious about the whole thing- no matter who fun it was then. It was really confusing and scary at first, and then it was interesting and lastly then it becomes fun. But once you reached that stage- it becomes like work. There are things that you HAVE to do- and then you make lots of risk/reward calculation in your head. Was it really worth all the trouble when it becomes like work.
Hence I used to stare at beautiful woman with awe but now, the first thing that goes into my head is that, is she going to be a princess. And really if so, how much red carpet do I have to pull. The left side of my brain kicked off faster than other parts of my head now.
I know it really is practical but everyone knows it- they just are in different stages that's all.
By the way, I am talking about romance- I am not sure what you are thinking about.
When I was university, I wanted any girl- anyone will do- I just went for the any Mary or Jane. I am not sure why- because I think it was time to be stupid I suppose. But I went home with a bachelor and merit at the end of three years in spite of spending the night before the exam at the karaoke anyway.
When I was 17, I don't even want a girlfriend. The only reason I had one was because my head was bursting just before the exam and I had to tell someone that I sort of crush on and we got together after the ' O' levels- just so I can clear my head. True story.
But anyway, she believed it and we moved along and I still managed to make it to university and was in school football team and was the class rep all at the same time- and so you can still suck it. I am perfect I know.
When I started to work, all I ever wanted to do was to get my mom off my back just so that she won't come after me. I quit once and told her I wanted to be a writer- and she flipped.
Ok, the writer thing didn't work out but I was an editor of a one off magazine which was started by a few guys I met over the Internet. It was one issue and I did the editing.
Then one day, I looked into my account and realised that there wasn't much money and hence I decided to start work again and the writing thing became a part time thing. And suddenly 3 years after graduation, I felt an insane urge to do well- so I worked my ass off.
Not sure why, that 2-3 years of my life brought me to this point. Now, I can safely tell you that I can walk into any firm and they will hire me on the spot. Just so that my 2-3 years is worth 20 in many people's c.v.
And when you have such a c.v- everyone treats you like the boss and it helps getting whatever you want. People come to you and not the other way around.
Women I would have to say become quite dispensable- I have to say. But not to say that it was one-sided, they have made use of me too so I have really nothing to complain.
I really don't think a lot about my ex-girlfriends really. The only time, i ever remember is when people reminds me about it. And I really don't see why people is so hung up who I go out with or whom I have went out with.
Although, sometimes I wish we were still together but when we have broken up, we have broken up and if you have ability to court her- please be my guest. There is a reason that everything didn't turn out fine and if you so wish and if anyone is up to it- I won't stop you. It's her life and not mine to say no- regardless of whatever history.
This is really a rather simple concept- yes I do get jealous and no, I stick to the principle that when everyone has broken up- please be my guest. I have no idea why do people have this idea that just because I am human I would forget all my experience over the years.
I still stand by everything that my door is always open regardless of who you are or what you did- it is your prerogative to knock it. And I will not let my personal exertions get in the way of the things I have learnt over the years.
I am not a choir boy- and I won't deny it. And no I have never smoked before even if it is so alluring and likewise what makes anyone think that just because one has experience, one is incapable of controlling one's impulses- continues to puzzles me.
In fact, once you look back- one will realize that there is nothing really mysterious about the whole thing- no matter who fun it was then. It was really confusing and scary at first, and then it was interesting and lastly then it becomes fun. But once you reached that stage- it becomes like work. There are things that you HAVE to do- and then you make lots of risk/reward calculation in your head. Was it really worth all the trouble when it becomes like work.
Hence I used to stare at beautiful woman with awe but now, the first thing that goes into my head is that, is she going to be a princess. And really if so, how much red carpet do I have to pull. The left side of my brain kicked off faster than other parts of my head now.
I know it really is practical but everyone knows it- they just are in different stages that's all.
By the way, I am talking about romance- I am not sure what you are thinking about.
Movable and Immovable objects
This was written on the train towards town at about 4 something in the noon on 22/1 Tuesday:
I have driven my car for 10 years before selling it last year to fund an education.
The car was not purchased by me- it was given to me when I first got my driving license by my grandma.
The first thing I ever noticed after selling the car was how the car ads in the media made envy burn so badly that it is almost a given to have a car or you just haven't made it.
The fact is that I never felt superior when I was driving a car even when I was schooling. I didn't even ask for it- it was given to me. Hence I have never felt the big hoo ha over having a car or not.
I only recently felt this rather strange fixation with cars and the superiority complex it bestowed on the owners- just to be sure- there was no loan on the car, I owned it and I didn't even felt it was a big deal.
I could have ask for a sexier car of course- but to me the car was getting from A to B and it just so happened that I have something to drive. It was beat up Japanese car with air con breaking down several times after driving for 7 years- of course it was new at first.
My second car was even more surreptitious. One day, I received a call that I was getting a newer car albeit a second hand one and it drove way better than a 7 year car. Again I didn't ask for anything. Hence I have never felt any worst or any better driving a car- maybe it was anomaly I don't know.
The only ever thing I missed having a car is the ability to drive out in the middle of the night to have supper or to the beach and it helps to drive when one is clubbing though.
But then now, these things are not very important and I don't really do these type of things very often nowadays anyways. Besides, it's a ok ride and not a souped up ride then is a chick magnet anyway.
And now when I look out the window and I see people paying through their nose for their car- I found it rather ridiculous anyway. You cannot even afford to pay for the car park fines and you are quibbling over your monthly installments- I get a lot of those- they are rather stringent.
I have seen working class and office class people sweating over a $700 installment on a $2500 take home- really is it that worth it- after petrol, parking and tax and insurance the monthly bill is easily more than $1,000 and you just started work. Seriously. For your information, I always get season parking even I work in CBD because I have zero installment- and it is more than $200 a month.
And even then I found it expensive because with the CBD charges and petrol, it still sets me back at least $500 hence I have never grapple with the idea of loaning for a drive when most of the time- you get from office to home anyway.
Anyway, I don't really blame them- the envy and all the generous photo spread of being this and that- when you are really just a paper pusher is really too alluring. The envy that I get when I open the Saturday pages is such that I must be sexiest person in the world simply by having this vehicle- and then I open the classifieds- and the mileage for a sexy car is less than 10,000 km- and then you know it is an absolute waste of time.
I have no clue about cars really and my idea of modification is finding the most convenient gadget to put my phone and the latest car park charges in town. I can rattle off the car park charges in CBD and town now still.
I should have sold off my car a long time ago- but I was spoilt- I had a car when I didn't ask for it.
It is really difficult to let go of an asset without a liability you see. I only need to pay car park charges and other misc expenses. By the way even in school i paid for everything else except the car. That's why I work and study at the same time
And after driving for 8 years, it is really tough to let go of the convenience that have build up over the years. I wanted to sell it when I started work as I was leaving car at home anyway but by the time, I wanted to, i made more money- so suck it.
By the way, can you imagine telling your colleagues that you drive to work on a working salary- I didn't felt anything then- but I think they must be deeply pissed when I look at all the car ads in the newspaper now. By the way, I drove my BOSS home before, he slammed the door when he left. I thought I was doing a favor- but I didn't even know he is really insanely pissed. But looking back, I think he was having this envy that I didn't really have.
And now, I am having a reversal of roles, my friends have cars and I just sold mine- and I can tell them asserting the superiority complex- and till this day, I still don't really understand the fascination with cars when theirs is still a regular car too. I think all these envy have build up all these years now that they have been waiting this day to press home their superiority.
I just sold my car for a finance post grad and a PR in Australia- seriously and not to pay bloated debts. And most are paying leases on it anyway. Hence I still do not understand their superior complex other than vanity. Anyway, I don't really request for rides nowadays- it's too much of a chore.
Oh by the way, I have another immovable object that it is deep in the money and I can buy a car outright with it. I just didn't want it.
So just suck it.
And just don't show it of to me 10 years later you have done so as well- cause I have already done it at 29.
I told you the good news and not to ingratiate myself to you- and if you feel a need to chase a moving goal post- just remember this post 10 years later- and don't blame me for not sharing your joy.
I have driven my car for 10 years before selling it last year to fund an education.
The car was not purchased by me- it was given to me when I first got my driving license by my grandma.
The first thing I ever noticed after selling the car was how the car ads in the media made envy burn so badly that it is almost a given to have a car or you just haven't made it.
The fact is that I never felt superior when I was driving a car even when I was schooling. I didn't even ask for it- it was given to me. Hence I have never felt the big hoo ha over having a car or not.
I only recently felt this rather strange fixation with cars and the superiority complex it bestowed on the owners- just to be sure- there was no loan on the car, I owned it and I didn't even felt it was a big deal.
I could have ask for a sexier car of course- but to me the car was getting from A to B and it just so happened that I have something to drive. It was beat up Japanese car with air con breaking down several times after driving for 7 years- of course it was new at first.
My second car was even more surreptitious. One day, I received a call that I was getting a newer car albeit a second hand one and it drove way better than a 7 year car. Again I didn't ask for anything. Hence I have never felt any worst or any better driving a car- maybe it was anomaly I don't know.
The only ever thing I missed having a car is the ability to drive out in the middle of the night to have supper or to the beach and it helps to drive when one is clubbing though.
But then now, these things are not very important and I don't really do these type of things very often nowadays anyways. Besides, it's a ok ride and not a souped up ride then is a chick magnet anyway.
And now when I look out the window and I see people paying through their nose for their car- I found it rather ridiculous anyway. You cannot even afford to pay for the car park fines and you are quibbling over your monthly installments- I get a lot of those- they are rather stringent.
I have seen working class and office class people sweating over a $700 installment on a $2500 take home- really is it that worth it- after petrol, parking and tax and insurance the monthly bill is easily more than $1,000 and you just started work. Seriously. For your information, I always get season parking even I work in CBD because I have zero installment- and it is more than $200 a month.
And even then I found it expensive because with the CBD charges and petrol, it still sets me back at least $500 hence I have never grapple with the idea of loaning for a drive when most of the time- you get from office to home anyway.
Anyway, I don't really blame them- the envy and all the generous photo spread of being this and that- when you are really just a paper pusher is really too alluring. The envy that I get when I open the Saturday pages is such that I must be sexiest person in the world simply by having this vehicle- and then I open the classifieds- and the mileage for a sexy car is less than 10,000 km- and then you know it is an absolute waste of time.
I have no clue about cars really and my idea of modification is finding the most convenient gadget to put my phone and the latest car park charges in town. I can rattle off the car park charges in CBD and town now still.
I should have sold off my car a long time ago- but I was spoilt- I had a car when I didn't ask for it.
It is really difficult to let go of an asset without a liability you see. I only need to pay car park charges and other misc expenses. By the way even in school i paid for everything else except the car. That's why I work and study at the same time
And after driving for 8 years, it is really tough to let go of the convenience that have build up over the years. I wanted to sell it when I started work as I was leaving car at home anyway but by the time, I wanted to, i made more money- so suck it.
By the way, can you imagine telling your colleagues that you drive to work on a working salary- I didn't felt anything then- but I think they must be deeply pissed when I look at all the car ads in the newspaper now. By the way, I drove my BOSS home before, he slammed the door when he left. I thought I was doing a favor- but I didn't even know he is really insanely pissed. But looking back, I think he was having this envy that I didn't really have.
And now, I am having a reversal of roles, my friends have cars and I just sold mine- and I can tell them asserting the superiority complex- and till this day, I still don't really understand the fascination with cars when theirs is still a regular car too. I think all these envy have build up all these years now that they have been waiting this day to press home their superiority.
I just sold my car for a finance post grad and a PR in Australia- seriously and not to pay bloated debts. And most are paying leases on it anyway. Hence I still do not understand their superior complex other than vanity. Anyway, I don't really request for rides nowadays- it's too much of a chore.
Oh by the way, I have another immovable object that it is deep in the money and I can buy a car outright with it. I just didn't want it.
So just suck it.
And just don't show it of to me 10 years later you have done so as well- cause I have already done it at 29.
I told you the good news and not to ingratiate myself to you- and if you feel a need to chase a moving goal post- just remember this post 10 years later- and don't blame me for not sharing your joy.
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Frenemies
Some people may not like what they read here but well, the reason I never really openly share this link because I leave it to you read and decide whether it is worth coming back or worth the thrash.
There are some people whom take a decision away from me when I have not really decided and concluded then: a non-action means a particular direction. And from there, the deduction is made then on my preferences from A to Z and every other number under the sun.
Yes, life is about choices- but life is not only about choices. There isn't a need to decide when there are many other things that are more important or more palatable at the point in time. No, is not forever and yes is not necessary everlasting. And if one wishes to so wish to decide to live a life according to these decision rules- I would not stop you just don't include me in the little game. And if you so wish to form an opinion according to these decision rules- be my guest- but before one wants to do that, please firstly look at the particular position one is in before making any judgement- and if from there, there is an unerring decision, please be my guest; and by the way, there is no need to prove to me that it is the right decision to make. If you believe it, then it must be true- I will not try to prove otherwise- just don't pull me into that little game of yours.
I am not perfect. I do not pretend to be. Neither am I going to steal your girlfriend away or your entire business away just because I can or I would. Please do not confuse the actions of others' towards me as an attack towards you by me. I cannot stop other's from doing what they do- and if you don't like what they do, don't direct your vehemence towards me: half the time, I am minding my own business. The other half, I am just wondering why would anyone do what they do.
The human condition is such that it is complex to decipher and when you decide to take the simplistic manner of sheer compliance- rest assured that I will fight back- simply because it is not my problem, but your's. Do not confuse the actions of other's to be endorsed by me- trust me, you will know when I hit you and when I won't. You can feel it and it is from me- and not by proxy- and you will know who it is from unequivocally.
There are many whom believed that simply by snooping around and intruding into my private space and saying personal snide innuendo- you can take me as a fool- you can take me as a fool. But have you wondered to yourself why go through so much trouble just to prove the "rightness" of one's actions? Next time, make a funny joke or parody- don't go below the belt- I don't mind, doesn't mean that other's cannot taste the bitterness in the remark. Make it funny and entertaining at least- don't make it sound like a sourpuss because everyone will have to manage you from then on. I can be the butt of all the jokes- but make it a "joke" and not a personal vendetta. Not cool at all.
I know I have made many enemies and frenemies along the way- rest assured that I understood all the innuendos along the way and even if I don't, I would eventually taste the fury of your vengeance. But if you wish to attack me, attack me above the belt and in private- otherwise, it makes it uncomfortable for everyone in a tight enclosed space. I am already used to it but many other's don't like to hear sour puss talking. Don't make yourself worse than you already are. You are a human with feelings and emotions-it is ok-, just don't make yourself look like an asshole.
I can safely tell you upfront that you can make me a "butt" of all your jokes- I don't mind- but please at least do it tastefully and do it at least with tinge of irreverence. Otherwise, you are the one looking stupid and not me.
Have Fun.
Eugene
There are some people whom take a decision away from me when I have not really decided and concluded then: a non-action means a particular direction. And from there, the deduction is made then on my preferences from A to Z and every other number under the sun.
Yes, life is about choices- but life is not only about choices. There isn't a need to decide when there are many other things that are more important or more palatable at the point in time. No, is not forever and yes is not necessary everlasting. And if one wishes to so wish to decide to live a life according to these decision rules- I would not stop you just don't include me in the little game. And if you so wish to form an opinion according to these decision rules- be my guest- but before one wants to do that, please firstly look at the particular position one is in before making any judgement- and if from there, there is an unerring decision, please be my guest; and by the way, there is no need to prove to me that it is the right decision to make. If you believe it, then it must be true- I will not try to prove otherwise- just don't pull me into that little game of yours.
I am not perfect. I do not pretend to be. Neither am I going to steal your girlfriend away or your entire business away just because I can or I would. Please do not confuse the actions of others' towards me as an attack towards you by me. I cannot stop other's from doing what they do- and if you don't like what they do, don't direct your vehemence towards me: half the time, I am minding my own business. The other half, I am just wondering why would anyone do what they do.
The human condition is such that it is complex to decipher and when you decide to take the simplistic manner of sheer compliance- rest assured that I will fight back- simply because it is not my problem, but your's. Do not confuse the actions of other's to be endorsed by me- trust me, you will know when I hit you and when I won't. You can feel it and it is from me- and not by proxy- and you will know who it is from unequivocally.
There are many whom believed that simply by snooping around and intruding into my private space and saying personal snide innuendo- you can take me as a fool- you can take me as a fool. But have you wondered to yourself why go through so much trouble just to prove the "rightness" of one's actions? Next time, make a funny joke or parody- don't go below the belt- I don't mind, doesn't mean that other's cannot taste the bitterness in the remark. Make it funny and entertaining at least- don't make it sound like a sourpuss because everyone will have to manage you from then on. I can be the butt of all the jokes- but make it a "joke" and not a personal vendetta. Not cool at all.
I know I have made many enemies and frenemies along the way- rest assured that I understood all the innuendos along the way and even if I don't, I would eventually taste the fury of your vengeance. But if you wish to attack me, attack me above the belt and in private- otherwise, it makes it uncomfortable for everyone in a tight enclosed space. I am already used to it but many other's don't like to hear sour puss talking. Don't make yourself worse than you already are. You are a human with feelings and emotions-it is ok-, just don't make yourself look like an asshole.
I can safely tell you upfront that you can make me a "butt" of all your jokes- I don't mind- but please at least do it tastefully and do it at least with tinge of irreverence. Otherwise, you are the one looking stupid and not me.
Have Fun.
Eugene
Que Sera Sera
There are many important things in life. When I was 15, the most important thing in life was to get a pair of Levi's jeans and I really didn't quite like the run-of-mill jeans that I normally wear. It was something I wanted.
When I was 21, the only thing that I ever wanted was to get my then ex-girlfriend to patch back with me. I drove to her place and waited for a few hours and she passed a message and I left. A few months later, she sought me again to come back but I didn't, simply because it was time to moved on.
When I was 25, the last thing I ever wanted was to grow up. I held back from seriously finding a job until a few months after a graduation for a job that I didn't like.
When I was 28, the only thing I didn't want was to be bored with my life- hence I decided to work very hard and see how far I can get. I climbed so fast and almost simultaneously that I almost forgot how easy my life was then.
When I was 31, the only thing I didn't want was the life of many other's around me. I sought then to find a path of my own- and now I sit here with a path so less-travelled that when I look back, everything that culminated have come up to this point.
There isn't another me out there in this world I know, and as I sit here typing this particular article, I looked back almost with no regrets with everything that I have done- in spite of the many misgivings that I have along the way. Simply because, not once that did I say that I didn't know what I want to do and floated along.
I swim along the tide when it was easy- I swam against when I see no point in buying the Levi's jeans anymore.
I do not deny that looking back, I might have made use of a few people in my life to go through the routine of my life- consciously or unconsciously- and sad to say, I am really not that sorry to let them go.
Everybody changed, and admittedly, I have changed in a manner of which I couldn't expect it myself if you ask me back a few years back.
But if I do have to say that- if I can just explain to you what I see and what I have experienced- you would have done exactly the same thing that I have done. And if I cannot explained to you what I see and what I have experienced- then I am sad to say that it is best to allow the misunderstanding to move along and I think in time- everything will reveal by itself- just like the different layers of life and as you peel the various layers of an onion to reveal the core.
And for some, who are happy to just see what they see, then I am sorry that it is your decision to do what you want to do and if you so wish that: then I am sorry the misunderstanding would carry on for an indefinite period of time- then may you keep the memory that once at least, we had the same perspective and shared a time and place together.
Que Sera Sera.
Eugene
When I was 21, the only thing that I ever wanted was to get my then ex-girlfriend to patch back with me. I drove to her place and waited for a few hours and she passed a message and I left. A few months later, she sought me again to come back but I didn't, simply because it was time to moved on.
When I was 25, the last thing I ever wanted was to grow up. I held back from seriously finding a job until a few months after a graduation for a job that I didn't like.
When I was 28, the only thing I didn't want was to be bored with my life- hence I decided to work very hard and see how far I can get. I climbed so fast and almost simultaneously that I almost forgot how easy my life was then.
When I was 31, the only thing I didn't want was the life of many other's around me. I sought then to find a path of my own- and now I sit here with a path so less-travelled that when I look back, everything that culminated have come up to this point.
There isn't another me out there in this world I know, and as I sit here typing this particular article, I looked back almost with no regrets with everything that I have done- in spite of the many misgivings that I have along the way. Simply because, not once that did I say that I didn't know what I want to do and floated along.
I swim along the tide when it was easy- I swam against when I see no point in buying the Levi's jeans anymore.
I do not deny that looking back, I might have made use of a few people in my life to go through the routine of my life- consciously or unconsciously- and sad to say, I am really not that sorry to let them go.
Everybody changed, and admittedly, I have changed in a manner of which I couldn't expect it myself if you ask me back a few years back.
But if I do have to say that- if I can just explain to you what I see and what I have experienced- you would have done exactly the same thing that I have done. And if I cannot explained to you what I see and what I have experienced- then I am sad to say that it is best to allow the misunderstanding to move along and I think in time- everything will reveal by itself- just like the different layers of life and as you peel the various layers of an onion to reveal the core.
And for some, who are happy to just see what they see, then I am sorry that it is your decision to do what you want to do and if you so wish that: then I am sorry the misunderstanding would carry on for an indefinite period of time- then may you keep the memory that once at least, we had the same perspective and shared a time and place together.
Que Sera Sera.
Eugene
Monday, January 21, 2013
Price
This was written at stadium where I was waiting for the rain stopped before a run at about 6pm on 20/1/13- Sunday:
If there is a market for everything- there must be a price. If there is ridiculous demand for something particular- there must always be a price to pay.
If there is such a thing such as private property- then you must be prepared to pay huge price for defending what you think is your's.
And if you defend only because of exertions then you are simply like a dog running everywhere but really achieving nothing in the end.
Maybe there are a lack of women in this world- but I would think that there should be an approximate equal make-up but the extend of which some have push the 'price' up so high that it is not even all the exertions. It becomes like a wallflower and a Helen in the Troy. Paris lost a city for a woman.
In modern times, chastity is no longer that much of a value and women have already leverage on these by leveraging on their youth and good looks to their advantage. They have simply gather all the bees to the honey and round them up.
They are not really feminist per se but opportunist. Beautiful woman with mindless occupation like attending parties and promoting products is symtomatic of this phenomenon. There is simply no girl power just 'me' power. There are no altruism underneath this sexual undertones- just blatant opportunism.
Hence every time, I enter a public space and anything resembling a woman in revealing clothes enters- the tension rises to a level that everyone thinks that the woman will sleep with every single one of them and all of them have a shot at her.
Hence, everyone suddenly become territorial and defensive as if a stranger will go up to you and say: will you sleep with me tonight- for no apparent reason?
It would be fine so long as they do not intrude to my private space- they think that everyone has the same mentality as him and really I just have the unfortunate coincidence of standing in this situation with unnecessary testorone. I cannot even avoid it even if I can.
The amount of posturing is so irritating that they seem to have skin rash or something or Tourette's syndrome- always fidgeting and scratching.
I mean it's not like I dislike girls or something like that- but you are simply making a straightforward bus trip from A to B like a war. If they so happen to be there and then they so happen to be there. Whatever posturing will not get you the number. I am really unsure of what does is trying to prove.
If you like that girl so much- go and talk to her- what has that got to do with me. In most cases, I am just minding my own business
Trivial this as this might be- but it is almost an over-riding theme every time I enter a crowded public space. I am first to admit that I love women- but no, I will not go scratching myself all over my body just to get their attention. I have no idea what has this got to do with attraction of any kind for that matter.
Maybe they have watch to many animal documentaries- but let me assure you that humans are not attracted by scratching or fidgeting for that matter.
Hence do not confuse me with the lack of instinctive behavior to 'dominate'- simply because I know whatever gesticulating will get me nowhere. Do what you think is comfortable- just don't get me involved.
Everyone has the right to choose- I really don't want to interfere. But I just don't to get involved in your ancient mating ritual. If I think it is worth, I will do something otherwise- rest assured that who you sleep with has absolutely nothing to do with me.
I think on both ends everyone is complicit in this state of affairs. Both sexes- but anyone whom is trying to leverage has to know that there are risk involved. And anyone who has the moral high ground and wishes to take pounce on this opportunity should be aware of the risk one is taking.
I have seen risk taken by both sides- anyone who thinks that they can profit without risking anything might not see the repercussions now but will see when the demand has dropped.
The girl who played with fire- cannot always all the guns blazing- however inappropriate the behavior of those around her. You don't go to the red-light district and pretend that nothing will happened to you simply because you are not a prostitute.
It's not because I am not attracted to you or that you are not beautiful- simply because you are just not worth the risk. I have done my time- and I know who is trouble and who is not.
I have previously have partners which do everything my opposite just to get my attention- I have tried a number of times to advise strongly against. The harder I try, the stronger the the belligerence. It's not that I don't care but you cannot even protect yourself against yourself- there is really nothing I can do.
Hence if I cannot manage you- then you are probably not worth the dinner that I just paid for. Let's just be friends or let's not get too involved. And if we do have something on before- do as I say- it's for your own good. I get no benefits- you do. Anything else, it's not worth it on either side.
If there is a market for everything- there must be a price. If there is ridiculous demand for something particular- there must always be a price to pay.
If there is such a thing such as private property- then you must be prepared to pay huge price for defending what you think is your's.
And if you defend only because of exertions then you are simply like a dog running everywhere but really achieving nothing in the end.
Maybe there are a lack of women in this world- but I would think that there should be an approximate equal make-up but the extend of which some have push the 'price' up so high that it is not even all the exertions. It becomes like a wallflower and a Helen in the Troy. Paris lost a city for a woman.
In modern times, chastity is no longer that much of a value and women have already leverage on these by leveraging on their youth and good looks to their advantage. They have simply gather all the bees to the honey and round them up.
They are not really feminist per se but opportunist. Beautiful woman with mindless occupation like attending parties and promoting products is symtomatic of this phenomenon. There is simply no girl power just 'me' power. There are no altruism underneath this sexual undertones- just blatant opportunism.
Hence every time, I enter a public space and anything resembling a woman in revealing clothes enters- the tension rises to a level that everyone thinks that the woman will sleep with every single one of them and all of them have a shot at her.
Hence, everyone suddenly become territorial and defensive as if a stranger will go up to you and say: will you sleep with me tonight- for no apparent reason?
It would be fine so long as they do not intrude to my private space- they think that everyone has the same mentality as him and really I just have the unfortunate coincidence of standing in this situation with unnecessary testorone. I cannot even avoid it even if I can.
The amount of posturing is so irritating that they seem to have skin rash or something or Tourette's syndrome- always fidgeting and scratching.
I mean it's not like I dislike girls or something like that- but you are simply making a straightforward bus trip from A to B like a war. If they so happen to be there and then they so happen to be there. Whatever posturing will not get you the number. I am really unsure of what does is trying to prove.
If you like that girl so much- go and talk to her- what has that got to do with me. In most cases, I am just minding my own business
Trivial this as this might be- but it is almost an over-riding theme every time I enter a crowded public space. I am first to admit that I love women- but no, I will not go scratching myself all over my body just to get their attention. I have no idea what has this got to do with attraction of any kind for that matter.
Maybe they have watch to many animal documentaries- but let me assure you that humans are not attracted by scratching or fidgeting for that matter.
Hence do not confuse me with the lack of instinctive behavior to 'dominate'- simply because I know whatever gesticulating will get me nowhere. Do what you think is comfortable- just don't get me involved.
Everyone has the right to choose- I really don't want to interfere. But I just don't to get involved in your ancient mating ritual. If I think it is worth, I will do something otherwise- rest assured that who you sleep with has absolutely nothing to do with me.
I think on both ends everyone is complicit in this state of affairs. Both sexes- but anyone whom is trying to leverage has to know that there are risk involved. And anyone who has the moral high ground and wishes to take pounce on this opportunity should be aware of the risk one is taking.
I have seen risk taken by both sides- anyone who thinks that they can profit without risking anything might not see the repercussions now but will see when the demand has dropped.
The girl who played with fire- cannot always all the guns blazing- however inappropriate the behavior of those around her. You don't go to the red-light district and pretend that nothing will happened to you simply because you are not a prostitute.
It's not because I am not attracted to you or that you are not beautiful- simply because you are just not worth the risk. I have done my time- and I know who is trouble and who is not.
I have previously have partners which do everything my opposite just to get my attention- I have tried a number of times to advise strongly against. The harder I try, the stronger the the belligerence. It's not that I don't care but you cannot even protect yourself against yourself- there is really nothing I can do.
Hence if I cannot manage you- then you are probably not worth the dinner that I just paid for. Let's just be friends or let's not get too involved. And if we do have something on before- do as I say- it's for your own good. I get no benefits- you do. Anything else, it's not worth it on either side.
Sunday, January 20, 2013
On bodily Fluids
The below was written at approximately 11pm on 19/1 Saturday while awaiting to watch a movie: Silver Lining, Playbook- which was ironically rather good actually. [ Go Jennifer Lawrence]
The arise of jealousy is really bore from a society rather than from an individual. Robinson Crusoe can never get jealous simply because there is nobody to be envious about.
He can get hungry and thirsty but he never get jealous about the person in London sipping tea and eating breakfast simply because the jealousy will not feed him. The physical nature of the hunger and thirst means that the food is a necessity and not a luxury.
Hence emotions of any sort can be contributed by it's social nature and a biological one. Therefore a lack can contribute to a decision making process. The larger the absence the stronger the emotion.
By extension, the bigger the expression, the larger the lack. The larger the compensation- the larger the hole.
Among the many emotions of which contribute to the emotional decision can arise simply by demonstrating a lack rather than a positive demonstration of quality. And insofar then, in such a manner, one one can create a lack rather than a positive and enhancing decision.
And if all of us have a lack- then the louder the compensation or to the contrary simply demonstrate it's insecurity as opposed to it's assured-ness.
Hence the result of any bad partner selection is simply the result of covering one's personal doubt rather than an accretive one. Therefore if selection is based on covering one's doubt then insofar that the nature of it is ephemeral and never based on any firm fundamentals.
In this manner, when the lack is covered by familiarity- the end is always inevitable.
The criteria of any partner then must be progressive rather than a regressive one. By it's very extension, risk is therefore the basis of all relationship. Without that, any partner selection is therefore simply fitting in a puzzle rather than creation of a new one.
The analogy of a missing puzzle presupposes the existence of the 'one' and if one is a non-believer, there is no 'soul mate' out there to be 'found'.
What is simply left is the almost random nature of one's social interactions. And in so doing, all form of affection are simply one of spontaneity rather than that of tending towards the 'one'.
Any counter actions against one's intuitive emotions is really covering a lack. A lack of which is even deeper than a positive one.
That is the reason for 'hyper' forms of expression- the louder one's actions, the more on the contrary one don't have it.
The reason is that positive is comforting and almost forgetful, a lack is almost an impetus to act. It is an attempt to cover up the guilt of lacking spontaneous reactions.
Hence the need for porn videos to hyper-act the whole act itself simply because it is not spontaneous one but rather an end in itself. It is not a spontaneous act but rather a reactive one.
The same goes for one night stands and anything with strangers- the act is almost always lost in the dizziness of the whole situation rather than an actual experience of it. And if the act itself is the only outcome, I would rather pay since it is simply less cumbersome and straightforward. No strings attached and they won't haunt for anything out of the wedlock.
Hence I don't really see the point in getting the opposite sex drunk simply just to take advantage of them- it is much safer to pay for that. Silence is not necessarily consent. You get the drift.
Hence I am not so sure why the whole world is really quite hung up on getting the love of your life or getting some. This is not a manner of act itself- because it is really pretty straightforward but rather if one isn't really sure what the 'experience' of it- it simply one big whirlwind and dizzy affair. It is really just a release of bodily fluids and nothing else- and why the whole obsession with something we do everyday anyway.
Everyday is filled with all these sexual tension that it's like there is no other things that matter.
The phallus symbol is simply a convenient shape and it is really much difficult to create everything as a dome and it is simply less space consuming isn't it.
And if everything is sexualized to this extent- what of the baby sucking the milk bottle which is really a phallus symbol isn't it.
And hence if phallus symbol is a symbol of strength then a demonstration of a lack can simply demonstrate it's strength. It is simply creation of a lack and providing a solution. And insofar that if any partner selection is simply based on this single criteria- all decisions is simply regressive as the probability of hunting down an animal in the woods is almost nil because we simply can go to the supermarket.
Hence the decisions based on these
'emotional' is almost ephemeral in nature and have no firm grounding and insofar that if all these emotions are socialized to a point of regression- you are better off getting a dog or a cat- since it's definition is as slippery as it is subjective.
And if these emotions were so structured- of what value is true love and free will- you are still better off with a cat or dog.
After a while, one would realize that all these sexual tension is almost not worth it's hype. It is nervous lover's- soft and tender- but smash everything.
The arise of jealousy is really bore from a society rather than from an individual. Robinson Crusoe can never get jealous simply because there is nobody to be envious about.
He can get hungry and thirsty but he never get jealous about the person in London sipping tea and eating breakfast simply because the jealousy will not feed him. The physical nature of the hunger and thirst means that the food is a necessity and not a luxury.
Hence emotions of any sort can be contributed by it's social nature and a biological one. Therefore a lack can contribute to a decision making process. The larger the absence the stronger the emotion.
By extension, the bigger the expression, the larger the lack. The larger the compensation- the larger the hole.
Among the many emotions of which contribute to the emotional decision can arise simply by demonstrating a lack rather than a positive demonstration of quality. And insofar then, in such a manner, one one can create a lack rather than a positive and enhancing decision.
And if all of us have a lack- then the louder the compensation or to the contrary simply demonstrate it's insecurity as opposed to it's assured-ness.
Hence the result of any bad partner selection is simply the result of covering one's personal doubt rather than an accretive one. Therefore if selection is based on covering one's doubt then insofar that the nature of it is ephemeral and never based on any firm fundamentals.
In this manner, when the lack is covered by familiarity- the end is always inevitable.
The criteria of any partner then must be progressive rather than a regressive one. By it's very extension, risk is therefore the basis of all relationship. Without that, any partner selection is therefore simply fitting in a puzzle rather than creation of a new one.
The analogy of a missing puzzle presupposes the existence of the 'one' and if one is a non-believer, there is no 'soul mate' out there to be 'found'.
What is simply left is the almost random nature of one's social interactions. And in so doing, all form of affection are simply one of spontaneity rather than that of tending towards the 'one'.
Any counter actions against one's intuitive emotions is really covering a lack. A lack of which is even deeper than a positive one.
That is the reason for 'hyper' forms of expression- the louder one's actions, the more on the contrary one don't have it.
The reason is that positive is comforting and almost forgetful, a lack is almost an impetus to act. It is an attempt to cover up the guilt of lacking spontaneous reactions.
Hence the need for porn videos to hyper-act the whole act itself simply because it is not spontaneous one but rather an end in itself. It is not a spontaneous act but rather a reactive one.
The same goes for one night stands and anything with strangers- the act is almost always lost in the dizziness of the whole situation rather than an actual experience of it. And if the act itself is the only outcome, I would rather pay since it is simply less cumbersome and straightforward. No strings attached and they won't haunt for anything out of the wedlock.
Hence I don't really see the point in getting the opposite sex drunk simply just to take advantage of them- it is much safer to pay for that. Silence is not necessarily consent. You get the drift.
Hence I am not so sure why the whole world is really quite hung up on getting the love of your life or getting some. This is not a manner of act itself- because it is really pretty straightforward but rather if one isn't really sure what the 'experience' of it- it simply one big whirlwind and dizzy affair. It is really just a release of bodily fluids and nothing else- and why the whole obsession with something we do everyday anyway.
Everyday is filled with all these sexual tension that it's like there is no other things that matter.
The phallus symbol is simply a convenient shape and it is really much difficult to create everything as a dome and it is simply less space consuming isn't it.
And if everything is sexualized to this extent- what of the baby sucking the milk bottle which is really a phallus symbol isn't it.
And hence if phallus symbol is a symbol of strength then a demonstration of a lack can simply demonstrate it's strength. It is simply creation of a lack and providing a solution. And insofar that if any partner selection is simply based on this single criteria- all decisions is simply regressive as the probability of hunting down an animal in the woods is almost nil because we simply can go to the supermarket.
Hence the decisions based on these
'emotional' is almost ephemeral in nature and have no firm grounding and insofar that if all these emotions are socialized to a point of regression- you are better off getting a dog or a cat- since it's definition is as slippery as it is subjective.
And if these emotions were so structured- of what value is true love and free will- you are still better off with a cat or dog.
After a while, one would realize that all these sexual tension is almost not worth it's hype. It is nervous lover's- soft and tender- but smash everything.
Ruling
The below was written at 7pm on 19/1/2013 Saturday at a cafe in town:
The biggest fallacy of all is age. The dichotomous relationship of having either one or the other is an untruth of the highest degree.
The common conception is that the young is of a certain quality and the old is of another opposite set is simply myopic and fallacious.
The argument is such that the personality will change with time resulting external social context is a manner of sociological determinism which no one will ever endorsed. The argument that the social context provides the definite building blocks is trying to say that everyone reacts to a social situation in a similar way. And as such, everyone that is 55 acts in a way and those at 21 will act almost the complete opposite.
Following then such argument, everyone older will smarter, richer and better in every aspect- but we know that there are many in jail or bankrupt are really of the older set.
It is like using the same ruler to measure everyone as one grows older. The best form of comparison is form those of the similar social background and not of a variable that does not correspond to the expectations of an independent variable.
Therefore anyone who to do otherwise is simply trying to compare a banana and a wine. A wine intoxicates and requires an acquired taste while the banana is simply a catch all- why the hell, would anyone to compare these two together.
Simply the most frustrating thing that anyone attempts to make comparison is one of which simply have no bearing on actual outcome of any relationship. No one would bother with a variable which simply have no form of correlation or causation to the objective of the comparison in the first place.
The point of a race is to find one who is fastest. And if you introduce a wheel chair bound person and everyone is obligated to run slower in order not to appear rude is simply not making a comparison in the first place. A race is a race and not a race to the moral high ground. A priest or theologian will do a better job than you.
Let us then approach the slippery subject of ethnicity. The economics of dye in certain countries in history presupposes a preference for particular 'colours'. Some have even made money simply by inventing new colours.
The simple argument is 2 fold- 1) passing fads 2) an ideological hung up caused only the historical and social context.
In the first, this simply skillful management of mass media- and in the second, it is simply an extension of the first. Just much much longer that's all.
The power is simply as such that it is the associative powers. It is such that if we do not have the 'natural' attributes for it- we simply find a multitude of ways to be associated to it insofar that it is towards a certain interest.
The imperial color of China is yellow and no one was allowed to wear it insofar that only the emperor has monopoly over it. It is simply to identify itself as the heaven's son and also it closest to it's subject. The only reason that I suspect is that it is the one thing that we cannot change without going through a radical physical transformation. It has nothing to do with a peasant in a far flung corner of it's empire or that of the heaven. Either way, has no direct bearing to it's superiority. Hence then, this obsession with colours has a ruler towards measurement is trying to say that rulers made from different materials have different lengths. Therefore 1 cm in one is really 3 cm in another. I am not sure how does that fit into say a proper comparison.
It is saying that a person wearing red for example runs 90 meters because it is measure in this manner and another wearing green has to run 120 meters because it is measure in this way and then an announcement is made to everyone that it is really a 100 meters race and the time taken remains the same.
This is not even a comparison or a competition. This is a show- that's all- of posterity. And anyone who attempts to obtain a definitive result from this- is better off watching American Idol or Avatar. It is simply more entertaining.
And indeed if this was a straight race- it would be easy. The argument pertaining to the above is to the superiority of one over another on a common measure. The problem is that we cannot even agree on what is common and how then can we say that we are competing in the same race.
Yesterday, I went for a run- an endurance run, to work towards building my stamina and not my speed. For some strange reason, someone ran really fast beside me and had the bragging rights with everyone watching, I simply ignored him and he took it personally and rested every lap just to show he is faster.
Hence perhaps for him, speed was important, who am I to judge but really I am training for a longer distance- there isn't really a need for me to build up so much explosive power. Otherwise, I wouldn't even last the full distance .
The only variable I have mentioned is already place and the other is time. These are simply contextual elements of which to measure performance. Take for example a race: the race is scheduled for say 3pm and it is only known to 7 of the 8 runners and the last runner turned up later and is measured from 3pm onwards- what type of race is this without even proper information dissemination. How do you measure a performance when the racer did not even know the timing of the race in the first place.
Some have used time with connotative elements: The connotative elements is not equal and of similar intensity to everyone- hence how can change one's performance in a 24 hrs clock.
For example you want to use the ruler at 3pm and you didn't tell everyone that you want to use it and only you turn up- and of course you will be the best right- simply because you are the only one in the competition and you invited everyone to watch this farce of a show right.
And then you look beside you- the only ones are the one that you have a pact with. The best part is that, this show was so large that one even believed in one's superiority.
The only variable in this form of determinism is such that of time and place and if it is used to determine the true quality- the most straightforward thing would be to have equal information and measurement so as to have a common measure. Any other deviation from this is simply ideological and an absolute waste of time and a shifting of musical chairs and when the music stop playing- everyone will realize that the chair everyone is sitting, is the same- and other's have walked out to buy their own chair. Or at least earn their way to buy one and not wait for the music to stop playing to realize that one chair is missing and everyone is fighting for that finite number.
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Make Babies and be Merry
A comparative method only works and to find the variable is only useful if you are able to hold other things constant. And if this particular variable has salience then does it have any form of correlation and causation.
If other things are not held constant, then insofar, the variable is in itself flawed. For example, if you are looking for a tastiness of apples from two different farms, one cannot used orange and an apple from two different farms to make comparison- simply because these are two different fruits altogether. This all sounds extremely scientific and common sensical.
Let me then demonstrate to you for extremely un-usefulness of using comparative method in finding your life partner. For one, one seeks a partner for different reasons: 1) some for love 2) some for the comapnionship 3) some for money and there are many other whimsical reasons for that as well.
A person seeking companionship is different from one seeking for love. Therefore one man's or woman's poison can be another man or woman's meat. Assuming that companionship has certain qualities- personable, genial and conversational might be attributes for one- but one who is seeking love, they are better off finding a dog instead. And let's not forget about the third, but I think that is self-explanatory although not mutually exclusive.
Hence one is really looking a red chilli pepper, and the other one is looking for comfort fruits like mango and the last well, just like to have foie gras for every meal [ that would be an extreme]. Hence therefore, when one is looking for a partner: those with these different eyes can almost look at the same thing totally differently.
And in making a comparison, each have different preferences and history and insofar then if we were to used conventions- the weightage on different dimensions are almsot different and insofar too, these are the more common ones and for each personality- there are all various idiosyncratic qualities that one look for. And I am not even talking about love- I am just talking about partner selection- and on the former, the one whole pandora's box will be open.
I used to chase this girl- I think that the only reason that we rejected me was that she was probably close to my height or taller than me. This is perfectly fine by me- because I think people think differently about different things- and I respect that. Maybe that's what she is looking for and if that was deal breaker- why torture yourself in a manner of which into circumstances that cannot be changed. This is not a manner of love- it is simply that she/he doesn't like you. We remained friends somewhat but well, we just move along.
There is saying that "all's fair in love and war." My question to that would be: I am sorry, how do I start. I all for fair competition if you are in love or really like this particular person but how does comparison or competition come into play. And assuming that you have "won the heart"- what does it even mean. Let's just look at the above.
And at this current moment, I have seen much that what used to capture me- somehow or rather lost the shine and in similar terms- simply my biological clock is ticking- but I am not a woman hence I have no biological clock to speak off really. Well, I think you get the drift.
This is not a manner of having a roving eye or no one is good enough for me- but rather in reality, I have no practical reasons to be practical if you think about it. I can dream if I so can, simply because and force a "better hand" so to speak simply because time is well, one can say on my side. My ovaries don't malfunction at 35 and everything will work fine so long as I remain relatively healthy hence why should I take a lousy hand when my hand is really much bigger.
Well, women on the other hand- don't have luxury- unless children is not on their cards. And even if so, I am pretty sure that question will come up one time or another- well for me, I really don't have a need for that dilemma. I know that things will not be risky even when I am 21 or when I am 55, it really doesn't makes a difference anyway.
Meanwhile, I'll hold my hand first and let other's do the baby making duties.
Happy baby-making everyone.
P/S: If I do, my babies would turn out better than your's- trust me on that.
If other things are not held constant, then insofar, the variable is in itself flawed. For example, if you are looking for a tastiness of apples from two different farms, one cannot used orange and an apple from two different farms to make comparison- simply because these are two different fruits altogether. This all sounds extremely scientific and common sensical.
Let me then demonstrate to you for extremely un-usefulness of using comparative method in finding your life partner. For one, one seeks a partner for different reasons: 1) some for love 2) some for the comapnionship 3) some for money and there are many other whimsical reasons for that as well.
A person seeking companionship is different from one seeking for love. Therefore one man's or woman's poison can be another man or woman's meat. Assuming that companionship has certain qualities- personable, genial and conversational might be attributes for one- but one who is seeking love, they are better off finding a dog instead. And let's not forget about the third, but I think that is self-explanatory although not mutually exclusive.
Hence one is really looking a red chilli pepper, and the other one is looking for comfort fruits like mango and the last well, just like to have foie gras for every meal [ that would be an extreme]. Hence therefore, when one is looking for a partner: those with these different eyes can almost look at the same thing totally differently.
And in making a comparison, each have different preferences and history and insofar then if we were to used conventions- the weightage on different dimensions are almsot different and insofar too, these are the more common ones and for each personality- there are all various idiosyncratic qualities that one look for. And I am not even talking about love- I am just talking about partner selection- and on the former, the one whole pandora's box will be open.
I used to chase this girl- I think that the only reason that we rejected me was that she was probably close to my height or taller than me. This is perfectly fine by me- because I think people think differently about different things- and I respect that. Maybe that's what she is looking for and if that was deal breaker- why torture yourself in a manner of which into circumstances that cannot be changed. This is not a manner of love- it is simply that she/he doesn't like you. We remained friends somewhat but well, we just move along.
There is saying that "all's fair in love and war." My question to that would be: I am sorry, how do I start. I all for fair competition if you are in love or really like this particular person but how does comparison or competition come into play. And assuming that you have "won the heart"- what does it even mean. Let's just look at the above.
And at this current moment, I have seen much that what used to capture me- somehow or rather lost the shine and in similar terms- simply my biological clock is ticking- but I am not a woman hence I have no biological clock to speak off really. Well, I think you get the drift.
This is not a manner of having a roving eye or no one is good enough for me- but rather in reality, I have no practical reasons to be practical if you think about it. I can dream if I so can, simply because and force a "better hand" so to speak simply because time is well, one can say on my side. My ovaries don't malfunction at 35 and everything will work fine so long as I remain relatively healthy hence why should I take a lousy hand when my hand is really much bigger.
Well, women on the other hand- don't have luxury- unless children is not on their cards. And even if so, I am pretty sure that question will come up one time or another- well for me, I really don't have a need for that dilemma. I know that things will not be risky even when I am 21 or when I am 55, it really doesn't makes a difference anyway.
Meanwhile, I'll hold my hand first and let other's do the baby making duties.
Happy baby-making everyone.
P/S: If I do, my babies would turn out better than your's- trust me on that.
Friday, January 18, 2013
Keeping up with the Joneses
Is loneliness a justification for companionship or companionship a justification for loneliness. This means that if I can socially induced "loneliness"- can I not also produce the antidote, similarly in the second, there is the statement that lays this principle.
When we were younger, we were often teased by the popular classmates- and when you get close to them or gain their acceptance, they would often do the things together, however uncharacteristic that it can be. Some simply call this bullying. And when we grow up and we started working, when we are left out of lunch, we felt that we are not part of grapevine- and when there lunches, there were simply gossip about colleagues. Then you just go along, not wishing to eat lunch alone- when what was being said at lunch have nothing to what you are going to do at work. Whether it is instinctive behaviour of a group to self-regulate via patrolling of boundaries or simply just "social" behaviour- there wasn't even a mention of loneliness. It is simply a given, that it is the way that it is- either you with us or you are against us.
Following this particular argument- being with us or against us- has nothing to loneliness, it is a matter of self-interested behaviour. And if so, why then does one continue to do the "ineffective" or "wrong" thing when it is not in our interest to do so- and risk losing your job for lousy performance or engaging unhealthy acts. The human condition has captured that why we act has nothing to why we act- we are simply afraid to be left out or be alone.
The funny thing about this psyche is that in this group, at the same time, they attempt to differentiate themselves. It means that they want to be different and yet be in the group both at the same time. That is the reason that you would see people scrimping and saving to branded goods to lift their status and also printing tattoos and dressing outlandishly while not really doing illegal or deviant.
The recognition of adding value in a group beyond effort is intuitive to the human psyche but the strange thing is we are quite incapable to being different just for the being "different". This means that we are simply wearing the "emperor's new clothes"- which is essentially nothing. But yet the behaviour has the effect of giving the euphoric behaviour of "standing out" when in reality, there is nothing there.
I was in town today, and printed tees making a statement can sell for $100 and upwards- when in reality, they are just t-shirt with a bit more words thats all. The cosmetic industry in Korea is booming and botox injection is as common as going to the dentist- this has a effect that looking good and looking young has a currency in the market. And in similar terms, we want to look young beyond our age and yet maintain the status quo. This has a simple effect of 50 year olds looking like 30 year olds- and for those not quite affording these sessions, they compensate simply by buying more status enhancing products however how inappropriate it is for their social setting.
And if you are 50 year and look like 50 year- you are simply alone when everyone else doesn't look like your age right. But what is the difference between 50 year old and 30 year old regardless of appearance- everyone who has a history will tell you that it simply different.
The above is not a manner that beauty is bad- but rather keeping up Joneses does not necessarily have a practical value and therefore I concur with this above statement that companionship is sometimes a justification for loneliness. You are made alone not by the force of nature but the a conflicting behaviour of other's both acting out of the norm and yet wanting to stay the same. This has an effect of really driving each other crazy- simply because one is never good enough for the person next to you.
I would rather look lonely looking my age and rather than succumb to what is a relentless pursuit for an eternal fountain of perfection. I'll leave Joneses to keep up with Joneses. Meanwhile, I'll just stick to talking with them- if it is not too demeaning for them.
When we were younger, we were often teased by the popular classmates- and when you get close to them or gain their acceptance, they would often do the things together, however uncharacteristic that it can be. Some simply call this bullying. And when we grow up and we started working, when we are left out of lunch, we felt that we are not part of grapevine- and when there lunches, there were simply gossip about colleagues. Then you just go along, not wishing to eat lunch alone- when what was being said at lunch have nothing to what you are going to do at work. Whether it is instinctive behaviour of a group to self-regulate via patrolling of boundaries or simply just "social" behaviour- there wasn't even a mention of loneliness. It is simply a given, that it is the way that it is- either you with us or you are against us.
Following this particular argument- being with us or against us- has nothing to loneliness, it is a matter of self-interested behaviour. And if so, why then does one continue to do the "ineffective" or "wrong" thing when it is not in our interest to do so- and risk losing your job for lousy performance or engaging unhealthy acts. The human condition has captured that why we act has nothing to why we act- we are simply afraid to be left out or be alone.
The funny thing about this psyche is that in this group, at the same time, they attempt to differentiate themselves. It means that they want to be different and yet be in the group both at the same time. That is the reason that you would see people scrimping and saving to branded goods to lift their status and also printing tattoos and dressing outlandishly while not really doing illegal or deviant.
The recognition of adding value in a group beyond effort is intuitive to the human psyche but the strange thing is we are quite incapable to being different just for the being "different". This means that we are simply wearing the "emperor's new clothes"- which is essentially nothing. But yet the behaviour has the effect of giving the euphoric behaviour of "standing out" when in reality, there is nothing there.
I was in town today, and printed tees making a statement can sell for $100 and upwards- when in reality, they are just t-shirt with a bit more words thats all. The cosmetic industry in Korea is booming and botox injection is as common as going to the dentist- this has a effect that looking good and looking young has a currency in the market. And in similar terms, we want to look young beyond our age and yet maintain the status quo. This has a simple effect of 50 year olds looking like 30 year olds- and for those not quite affording these sessions, they compensate simply by buying more status enhancing products however how inappropriate it is for their social setting.
And if you are 50 year and look like 50 year- you are simply alone when everyone else doesn't look like your age right. But what is the difference between 50 year old and 30 year old regardless of appearance- everyone who has a history will tell you that it simply different.
The above is not a manner that beauty is bad- but rather keeping up Joneses does not necessarily have a practical value and therefore I concur with this above statement that companionship is sometimes a justification for loneliness. You are made alone not by the force of nature but the a conflicting behaviour of other's both acting out of the norm and yet wanting to stay the same. This has an effect of really driving each other crazy- simply because one is never good enough for the person next to you.
I would rather look lonely looking my age and rather than succumb to what is a relentless pursuit for an eternal fountain of perfection. I'll leave Joneses to keep up with Joneses. Meanwhile, I'll just stick to talking with them- if it is not too demeaning for them.
Monday, January 14, 2013
Being Faithful
Love is a difficult thing- not because it is difficult to fall in love. It is difficult precisely because it is too easy. It is easy to infatuate about something and form positive feelings about someone which eventually becomes an attachment and evocative emotion. Anyone who went through teenage life with a crush would tell that.
The thing about this form of love is that it is so pleasurable and so stirring that nothing in this world will compare to that feeling. It is that's why we always have a lingering feeling about the first time until it fades into oblivion as layers of skepticism lay thin to that powerful feeling.
It is precisely that all of us wish to have that feeling at least once or have always attempted to regain that feeling again. Sex- even the transactional kind- always have a sense of excitement and euphoria, otherwise no one would want to spend money on what is nothing more than a release of bodily fluids. Many of us whom constantly seek this form of pleasure are constantly on the lookout for the euphoric or high that punctuate an otherwise routine life.
Puppy love- then is really the breaking down of barriers- both physically and mentally in which everything seems to harmonize with each other and there are birds singing on the trees with every bouncy step. The euphoria is so subtle that every little thing bounces off from us and nothing can do any wrong. It is no wonder that everyone seeks that state.
And the transactional form seeks to find this euphoria insofar not as a mental state but rather as a form of blip in a plateau of which only makes the plateau all the more tolerable. It is a means to an end rather than a mood.
Love then you see- one would release has little space for daily life- not once did I ever mention that love is a solution or is the antidote of life- but rather it is a condition of which only makes our life meaningful. And without it, all duties are routines and all rights are entitlements.
That is exactly why it is so elusive and yet so powerful. It is easy to fall in love but it is really difficult to do something because it means something otherwise many things would not be done. That is exactly why, when we grow older, love is not that weightless feeling anymore but rather something like a task and a chore of which we would have to manage among the many other things in our life. To fall in love is simply not practicable in real life- it is really just too cumbersome and bothersome- everyone knows it, but yet everyone seeks the opposite.
There are some who say that conceptions of love is romantic and flourishing- there is such a thing as contentment and satisfaction. Granted that such feelings exist, but why would anyone seek a lover or partner when a dog or cat or even any other thing can give you that same feeling. I suspect that it is nothing more than euphemism of which that it is nothing more than companionship and loneliness than love.
That is then I too suspect that many regret their choices in partners or lovers simply because they couldn't stand being lonely rather than sticking to their guns and finding something that they want. I have no beef with that and it is that life is simply matter of trade offs- whether deliberate or instinctive. But then, think about that lingering look of someone that made a pass at you- did it just skipped a beat- and if it did, on what matters did it make it sense that you are satisfied with what you have. This is not temptation or a sin- it simply that sticky feeling that you reminded yourself of the potential feeling that one gave up in frustration for something less than ideal. It's your regret that throbs and not devil whispering in your ear.
If you read all the recent sex scandals and all infidelity- it is never about love- it is always about the tryst. And you gave it up when you suspend your standards for something to relieve that pain inside you. You were short-changed and you simply want to have the cake and eat it as well.
Being faithful is never about the other person, it is about you slacking and trading off something you might have for something you can have. You screw up not because you are sexy and desirable and somebody wants you- you screwed up because you want to have the feeling of being desirable. Sadly, it is really all about you- but not in the manner that you think you are. No one tempted you- you gave that up a long time ago.
The thing about this form of love is that it is so pleasurable and so stirring that nothing in this world will compare to that feeling. It is that's why we always have a lingering feeling about the first time until it fades into oblivion as layers of skepticism lay thin to that powerful feeling.
It is precisely that all of us wish to have that feeling at least once or have always attempted to regain that feeling again. Sex- even the transactional kind- always have a sense of excitement and euphoria, otherwise no one would want to spend money on what is nothing more than a release of bodily fluids. Many of us whom constantly seek this form of pleasure are constantly on the lookout for the euphoric or high that punctuate an otherwise routine life.
Puppy love- then is really the breaking down of barriers- both physically and mentally in which everything seems to harmonize with each other and there are birds singing on the trees with every bouncy step. The euphoria is so subtle that every little thing bounces off from us and nothing can do any wrong. It is no wonder that everyone seeks that state.
And the transactional form seeks to find this euphoria insofar not as a mental state but rather as a form of blip in a plateau of which only makes the plateau all the more tolerable. It is a means to an end rather than a mood.
Love then you see- one would release has little space for daily life- not once did I ever mention that love is a solution or is the antidote of life- but rather it is a condition of which only makes our life meaningful. And without it, all duties are routines and all rights are entitlements.
That is exactly why it is so elusive and yet so powerful. It is easy to fall in love but it is really difficult to do something because it means something otherwise many things would not be done. That is exactly why, when we grow older, love is not that weightless feeling anymore but rather something like a task and a chore of which we would have to manage among the many other things in our life. To fall in love is simply not practicable in real life- it is really just too cumbersome and bothersome- everyone knows it, but yet everyone seeks the opposite.
There are some who say that conceptions of love is romantic and flourishing- there is such a thing as contentment and satisfaction. Granted that such feelings exist, but why would anyone seek a lover or partner when a dog or cat or even any other thing can give you that same feeling. I suspect that it is nothing more than euphemism of which that it is nothing more than companionship and loneliness than love.
That is then I too suspect that many regret their choices in partners or lovers simply because they couldn't stand being lonely rather than sticking to their guns and finding something that they want. I have no beef with that and it is that life is simply matter of trade offs- whether deliberate or instinctive. But then, think about that lingering look of someone that made a pass at you- did it just skipped a beat- and if it did, on what matters did it make it sense that you are satisfied with what you have. This is not temptation or a sin- it simply that sticky feeling that you reminded yourself of the potential feeling that one gave up in frustration for something less than ideal. It's your regret that throbs and not devil whispering in your ear.
If you read all the recent sex scandals and all infidelity- it is never about love- it is always about the tryst. And you gave it up when you suspend your standards for something to relieve that pain inside you. You were short-changed and you simply want to have the cake and eat it as well.
Being faithful is never about the other person, it is about you slacking and trading off something you might have for something you can have. You screw up not because you are sexy and desirable and somebody wants you- you screwed up because you want to have the feeling of being desirable. Sadly, it is really all about you- but not in the manner that you think you are. No one tempted you- you gave that up a long time ago.
Hell
I like to think we no more than social creatures but rather thinking creatures. To put it simply, we have the ability to think outside of ourself and also acting within the limits of ourselves.
For example, you do not like smoking and you know that it is harmful, but your friends smoke and chide you for not doing so- the mental dilemma in your head is then insofar that of the above. Instinctively, you would smoke- not knowing better, but you hesitate only insofar that you thinking for yourself and not within yourself. And if do the latter- you would smoke because simply because you cannot control yourself.
Let us then revisit whether these two can be collapse together- which means that I can make the social part of you into the rational part and vice versa. For example, smoking is good therefore I should smoke. I was watching a documentary on cigarette companies hosting huge concerts in Indonesia, I don't think there was outright sale of the cigarettes but the songs did not say to smoke- it just simply gather a huge group of people sponsored by these companies in the name of fun. And when everyone is having fun at the expense of someone else- how can one actually say no. It is almost irrational to do likewise. But by attending the concert, you have already circumscribed your rationality in the manner of which would that lowers the social barriers so much so that your left side of your brain would have to work much harder to prevent the subliminal messages from coming in.
I am not engaging in a crusade against cigarette companies. But the point is that these dilemmas are existent in every social interaction. They are intentionally circumscribing your rationality with no regard for your interest. It is really a one-size fits all type of situation in most interactions.
Why do you cross the road only when the green man lights up, and why do you really need a $2,000 handbag and why must you wear in a certain way to attract people of the opposite sex- you did not go for classes for it, well, you simply just do it. And if so, it makes sense, where does your knowledge or information came from- is there a genetic code to identify likewise which was imprinted even before you are born- and it simply because your social self kicking in- you knew before you knew simply because everyone else is doing it: it is really as simple as that. You want to fit in and fitting in simply means that it must be right- and then if so, would you want to fit into a squatter or do you want to fit in a mansion. You are fitting in isn't it- why didn't you want to fit in into somewhere that makes even more "sense" than your existing position. So if fitting in is so important- why did you choose to fit in say being a "prostitute". They have codes and way of behaviour- why doesn't one want to fit in there- simply because you are not thinking within yourself, and because you know the consequences of pursuing such a path. And how different is it for a person to say that my parents are bus driver and therefore I do not wish to be one- the parents would say good for you, and I support you.
On the second manner, where social codes are used to instill control and therefore restrict the self-interested behaviour of individuals. The idea is that for the greater good, it is best to restrain than to unleash. It means that if everyone is self interested, we would simply collapse under the weight of divergent behaviour of individuals. The simple dilemma and the age old paradox comes into play: if everyone is the same- would we be what we are today? We would be stuck in beliefs of animism and various other forms of superstition. Hence if we are really nothing more than self-interested animals waiting to unleash oneself to the world and wreak havoc- lest not forget that wars are waged by nations and parties, never by individuals. And if war is a condition of pathology, then isn't groups and communities the source of it.
There are no answers to the above question, only more questions. And if one claimed to have one- asked one very simple question: are you an absolute- otherwise, who are you?
Tomorrow, as an exercise do this: don't say hello to your neighbours or colleagues or anyone- and you would see how fast things fall apart. The community has unleashed hell.
For example, you do not like smoking and you know that it is harmful, but your friends smoke and chide you for not doing so- the mental dilemma in your head is then insofar that of the above. Instinctively, you would smoke- not knowing better, but you hesitate only insofar that you thinking for yourself and not within yourself. And if do the latter- you would smoke because simply because you cannot control yourself.
Let us then revisit whether these two can be collapse together- which means that I can make the social part of you into the rational part and vice versa. For example, smoking is good therefore I should smoke. I was watching a documentary on cigarette companies hosting huge concerts in Indonesia, I don't think there was outright sale of the cigarettes but the songs did not say to smoke- it just simply gather a huge group of people sponsored by these companies in the name of fun. And when everyone is having fun at the expense of someone else- how can one actually say no. It is almost irrational to do likewise. But by attending the concert, you have already circumscribed your rationality in the manner of which would that lowers the social barriers so much so that your left side of your brain would have to work much harder to prevent the subliminal messages from coming in.
I am not engaging in a crusade against cigarette companies. But the point is that these dilemmas are existent in every social interaction. They are intentionally circumscribing your rationality with no regard for your interest. It is really a one-size fits all type of situation in most interactions.
Why do you cross the road only when the green man lights up, and why do you really need a $2,000 handbag and why must you wear in a certain way to attract people of the opposite sex- you did not go for classes for it, well, you simply just do it. And if so, it makes sense, where does your knowledge or information came from- is there a genetic code to identify likewise which was imprinted even before you are born- and it simply because your social self kicking in- you knew before you knew simply because everyone else is doing it: it is really as simple as that. You want to fit in and fitting in simply means that it must be right- and then if so, would you want to fit into a squatter or do you want to fit in a mansion. You are fitting in isn't it- why didn't you want to fit in into somewhere that makes even more "sense" than your existing position. So if fitting in is so important- why did you choose to fit in say being a "prostitute". They have codes and way of behaviour- why doesn't one want to fit in there- simply because you are not thinking within yourself, and because you know the consequences of pursuing such a path. And how different is it for a person to say that my parents are bus driver and therefore I do not wish to be one- the parents would say good for you, and I support you.
On the second manner, where social codes are used to instill control and therefore restrict the self-interested behaviour of individuals. The idea is that for the greater good, it is best to restrain than to unleash. It means that if everyone is self interested, we would simply collapse under the weight of divergent behaviour of individuals. The simple dilemma and the age old paradox comes into play: if everyone is the same- would we be what we are today? We would be stuck in beliefs of animism and various other forms of superstition. Hence if we are really nothing more than self-interested animals waiting to unleash oneself to the world and wreak havoc- lest not forget that wars are waged by nations and parties, never by individuals. And if war is a condition of pathology, then isn't groups and communities the source of it.
There are no answers to the above question, only more questions. And if one claimed to have one- asked one very simple question: are you an absolute- otherwise, who are you?
Tomorrow, as an exercise do this: don't say hello to your neighbours or colleagues or anyone- and you would see how fast things fall apart. The community has unleashed hell.
Tuesday, January 08, 2013
Melon Colie and Melancholy
There are many whom have mistaken a premise for the actual story itself. Many are so caught up with the premise that the forgot it is a story after all. For example, a person reading about Alice in Wonderland is dreamer- but in reality it is an allegory about the tales of our lives. In similar terms, a person watching Pretty Woman is hoping to be a prostitute and marry a rich guy- it is a story and it is a vision. The point is that it has meaning- the premise is the one contains it- there is no difference in content of Snow White and Seven Dwarfs; it is a romance story. A princess or a prostitute.
I was browsing through the bookstore as I always do and I picked up Memories of my Melancholy Whores by Gabriel Marcia Marquez- he is a Nobel Prize winner in Literature- and I was given dirty looks like I was the 90 year old protagonist. This is not a promotion of pedophilia- it is a premise for which the visceral nature of it's writing is it's main thrust. If he was anything like this particular protagonist- I don't think he will win the Nobel Prize. The best part is that the best of us, never even came close to finishing a short story- and here we are judging- seriously. If you think it is hedonistic or debauchery, nobody force you to read it- you can just walk away- just like you would at any public displays that offend you.
My suggestion is that if one have not read the book, do not force your holier-than-thou opinion. And if it offends your morals, I am polluting myself and not you- why is one so caught up in trying to force the moral upper hand of the opinion. Let's not get into any spiritual proof and the like- I think everyone gets the drift. Respect each other's space and find a way to communicate rather than capitulate- no one wins, especially in morality.
Anyway, I am not promoting his "loose" morals of his stories but if one closes one's eyes- one realise that the way to love seems to weave in his narrative. And I don't think I would be so prolific as the other protagonist in Love in Time of Cholera. He wasn't even born then and how the hell did he manage to write about the cholera spread in South America- and so I rest my case.
There are many whom have prized resolute-ness over doubt and Inquisition. I don't really say you are wrong- but there is no need to prove your resolute-ness to me. If you think, I am weakening you- I have no problem in not speaking my mind, but the weather has that much to talk to you about anyway.
I was at bookshop and it is at least 200,000 square feet of floor space- and if it does offend you- feel free to move away to the other end of the bookstore. I don't need to respect your opinions insofar that I did not read aloud to you or cut across you rudely. If you can't get even the simple things right, I really doubt I can ask you the difference between Melancholy and Melon Collie. [ By the way, one is an emotion, the other is an album by Smashing Pumpkins- and it is not really a word per se.]
Walk away- if it irritates you now. Just don't overstay your presence.
I was browsing through the bookstore as I always do and I picked up Memories of my Melancholy Whores by Gabriel Marcia Marquez- he is a Nobel Prize winner in Literature- and I was given dirty looks like I was the 90 year old protagonist. This is not a promotion of pedophilia- it is a premise for which the visceral nature of it's writing is it's main thrust. If he was anything like this particular protagonist- I don't think he will win the Nobel Prize. The best part is that the best of us, never even came close to finishing a short story- and here we are judging- seriously. If you think it is hedonistic or debauchery, nobody force you to read it- you can just walk away- just like you would at any public displays that offend you.
My suggestion is that if one have not read the book, do not force your holier-than-thou opinion. And if it offends your morals, I am polluting myself and not you- why is one so caught up in trying to force the moral upper hand of the opinion. Let's not get into any spiritual proof and the like- I think everyone gets the drift. Respect each other's space and find a way to communicate rather than capitulate- no one wins, especially in morality.
Anyway, I am not promoting his "loose" morals of his stories but if one closes one's eyes- one realise that the way to love seems to weave in his narrative. And I don't think I would be so prolific as the other protagonist in Love in Time of Cholera. He wasn't even born then and how the hell did he manage to write about the cholera spread in South America- and so I rest my case.
There are many whom have prized resolute-ness over doubt and Inquisition. I don't really say you are wrong- but there is no need to prove your resolute-ness to me. If you think, I am weakening you- I have no problem in not speaking my mind, but the weather has that much to talk to you about anyway.
I was at bookshop and it is at least 200,000 square feet of floor space- and if it does offend you- feel free to move away to the other end of the bookstore. I don't need to respect your opinions insofar that I did not read aloud to you or cut across you rudely. If you can't get even the simple things right, I really doubt I can ask you the difference between Melancholy and Melon Collie. [ By the way, one is an emotion, the other is an album by Smashing Pumpkins- and it is not really a word per se.]
Walk away- if it irritates you now. Just don't overstay your presence.
Monday, January 07, 2013
Self-Loath
Many believed that they can arouse attention or elicit a response simply by doing something a particular action that is counter-intuitive. Simply by fighting a particular emotion is not tantamount to getting an opposite emotion. For example, a lonely person very often would do anything to hide his emotion simply by gesticulating loudly. The lonelier the person, the larger and louder the counter-intuitive response. This is in particular for any form of emotion which one is attempting to cover. The more obvious the cover, the bigger and louder the absence.
In reality, this is a response of which is of desperation and helplessness. One cannot solve nor ameliorate a particular feeling and therefore, of which to feel alive is to the do the exact opposite. This is really a response to a lack.
Quite frankly, I do see anything wrong in being something that you are not. There is no need to cover up for your flaws- if you do, the more apparent the flaws- that sinking feeling of not feeling good enough is really the cause of this innate urge to hide one's weakness.
Insofar that to protect the ego and self-image of one, the lengths of which one attempt to reflect a positive self-image went as far as being hyper-"anything". The normal is the abnormal is the normal. It is perfectly fine with not being perfect- I don't think it is fine to over-do anything.
Today, in response to a threat- a father signal an authoritative tone to his young son- this is highly inappropriate for 2 reasons 1) He is only 3 years old- I think it is tolerable 2) an appropriate response in a public context is not to be overly aggressive- for fear of receiving a similar response- but rather it lies a latent motive beyond what is discipline to eyes of the audience. It is really a "hyper" reaction- a reaction of which tangential to actual action. It was never about disciplining the kid- it was about something else- and I'll leave you to your imagination to conjure up the various intentions in the head. It is loud not to the kid- but to everyone seeing the act right in the middle of plaza.
Hence, in response of being lonely, desperate and helpless- and of course, these emotions are normal, it is perfectly fine to have these feelings- but what is not fine is the denial of these feelings which manifest itself in ways that one even loses track of why one is feeling in the first place.
The common charge is then it would appear that one would have to in control of your emotions in this case- there really isn't a need to- it is a simply a reaction to the self-loathing of one's self-image. This unfortunately goes deeper beyond simply self-control. You dislike yourself and that's exactly what you are feeling right now.
It is sad- and you deny it. What is even more sad- that you try to cover it. And when in the process of doing so, you hurt people around you and the self-loathing gets even more intense as a result. Let go, rather than control it. And do everyone around you a favour.
Thursday, January 03, 2013
The Elephant in the room
I was having dinner just now and I noticed a very strange phenomenon: that it is perfectly alright for old man to have young girlfriends. That to me is perfectly fine by me since I am really getting old myself. The thing is that there almost seem to be no form of embarrassment or "shame" on the side of the old man.
The look on most girls I noticed is fairly constant: that is, oh well, he is old but what can I do about it. It's like a form of reticent and acquiesced resignation.
But the old man, it seems to bask in the light of being adored by a young girl- but the look on the girl almost gives everything away. I am not sure why the old man seems to lack the irony to detect it and really made himself more embarrassing than it should be. No matter how young one tries to be or pretends to be- everyone knows- everyone just ignores the big white elephant in the room that's all.
The funny thing is that the more one tries to save him this embarrassment, the more he tries to make the elephant in the room even bigger than it already is.
I am not one to judge but really, everyone knows what in your head, so save us the social niceties and really eat your meal, and move along with it. Let's not make the social situation more awkward than it already should be. And do save the poor girl some face as well.
Everyone wants to be young forever- but some age more gracefully than others. There are some who apparently want to retrieve their lost youth and really hit on young defenceless people just because they have earn some money along the way. It is perfectly natural to be richer than them- you have already worked at least a good 30 years, they probably just started out, so I would hesitate to gloat about this if I were you.
Let me just say that I am getting old, my hairline is receding at a rate of a tsunami retreating and it never comes back regardless of the gravitational pull of the moon and so don't give me the crap that I won't understand- trust me, I really do.
Some things are so rude in the broad daylight that some people do not have the decency to restrain themselves in full view of people watching. Their intention so plain that it is like a giant elephant-s in a tiny room- regardless of how big the public place is.
I am not sure what got into their head in blatantly showing this behaviour- but there is a particular trade which is really the oldest in the world.
There are places for this and there are times for this- and it is profession for a reason- do what you have to do and don't treat the world as your own private bedroom.
Oh by the way, with globalization, the world is getting smaller and there is that much space to contain that many elephants. If I was someone associated with you, trust me, I would give that much a berth I would towards an elephant. Act your age, there are kids watching for crying out loud.
The look on most girls I noticed is fairly constant: that is, oh well, he is old but what can I do about it. It's like a form of reticent and acquiesced resignation.
But the old man, it seems to bask in the light of being adored by a young girl- but the look on the girl almost gives everything away. I am not sure why the old man seems to lack the irony to detect it and really made himself more embarrassing than it should be. No matter how young one tries to be or pretends to be- everyone knows- everyone just ignores the big white elephant in the room that's all.
The funny thing is that the more one tries to save him this embarrassment, the more he tries to make the elephant in the room even bigger than it already is.
I am not one to judge but really, everyone knows what in your head, so save us the social niceties and really eat your meal, and move along with it. Let's not make the social situation more awkward than it already should be. And do save the poor girl some face as well.
Everyone wants to be young forever- but some age more gracefully than others. There are some who apparently want to retrieve their lost youth and really hit on young defenceless people just because they have earn some money along the way. It is perfectly natural to be richer than them- you have already worked at least a good 30 years, they probably just started out, so I would hesitate to gloat about this if I were you.
Let me just say that I am getting old, my hairline is receding at a rate of a tsunami retreating and it never comes back regardless of the gravitational pull of the moon and so don't give me the crap that I won't understand- trust me, I really do.
Some things are so rude in the broad daylight that some people do not have the decency to restrain themselves in full view of people watching. Their intention so plain that it is like a giant elephant-s in a tiny room- regardless of how big the public place is.
I am not sure what got into their head in blatantly showing this behaviour- but there is a particular trade which is really the oldest in the world.
There are places for this and there are times for this- and it is profession for a reason- do what you have to do and don't treat the world as your own private bedroom.
Oh by the way, with globalization, the world is getting smaller and there is that much space to contain that many elephants. If I was someone associated with you, trust me, I would give that much a berth I would towards an elephant. Act your age, there are kids watching for crying out loud.
" No Passion's Slave"
In recent years, I hardly read about achieving equality and equity as an aspiration. It appears that practical concerns have triumphed over that of goals and visions much further away. Most are concerned with cutting budget deficit or reducing reliance on credit- which is really a worthy cause. But have we forgot that there is also a human character in the numbers?
The market has won, no one is talking about shared community but rather lifting the middle class and reducing income inequality. Politics is almost swallowed up by the economics of our times. The opposition and alternatives have found a space and a niche in every corner of society- which is sad really- which means that they have given up changing things but rather accept their limited lot in their fate. They have been circumscribed.
Ideals have been lost, visions have been compromised and dreams has been traded. I almost missed terrorism because at least they have something to fight for- but now, it appears that every body's reaction is really tepid in most times and dramatic for a fleeting moment only at best. The most exciting thing that happened last year was really a blind man and an almost non-existent skirmish somewhere in the middle of nowhere.
I read somewhere that we are only peaceful when we are the same which means that the preconditions to non-violence is well being homogeneous. This is the opposite of essential behaviour- which means that everything is meaningless and flat- this is skepticism gone ideological. It's like we do not care therefore we do not fight you.
The walking dead attempts to eat all healthy human beings and turned them to zombies- where they do not eat other. The zombies walk among the zombies not recognizing one from the other,isn't that the end of the world coming.
Today is a trend of cool skepticism where it is no longer trendy to hold a banner and fight for your "rights"- whatever that maybe. It no longer is political correct to fight for "freedom" or "oppression", and it is also not politically correct to criticize authoritarian regimes because simply because of "cultural" context. It is as if, one single word can explain away all the "wrongs" in the world.
When Myanmar release it's political prisoners, it was almost an non-event, where a few years ago, it would be lauded as a triumph for "democracy". Now it is like, "oh well, the world has moved on, so should Myanmar. And when North Korea had a failed rocket launch, no one chided them or try rubbed salt into the wounds- everyone kept quiet, almost of an disquieting civility.
Cold War has ended, Russia no longer even tries to be communist and no one even attempts to be anything now. Are we going to save the dolphins now and see no light, no end and no passions to improve the human condition?
How do you want the world to be- think hard, work smart and play even harder.
The market has won, no one is talking about shared community but rather lifting the middle class and reducing income inequality. Politics is almost swallowed up by the economics of our times. The opposition and alternatives have found a space and a niche in every corner of society- which is sad really- which means that they have given up changing things but rather accept their limited lot in their fate. They have been circumscribed.
Ideals have been lost, visions have been compromised and dreams has been traded. I almost missed terrorism because at least they have something to fight for- but now, it appears that every body's reaction is really tepid in most times and dramatic for a fleeting moment only at best. The most exciting thing that happened last year was really a blind man and an almost non-existent skirmish somewhere in the middle of nowhere.
I read somewhere that we are only peaceful when we are the same which means that the preconditions to non-violence is well being homogeneous. This is the opposite of essential behaviour- which means that everything is meaningless and flat- this is skepticism gone ideological. It's like we do not care therefore we do not fight you.
The walking dead attempts to eat all healthy human beings and turned them to zombies- where they do not eat other. The zombies walk among the zombies not recognizing one from the other,isn't that the end of the world coming.
Today is a trend of cool skepticism where it is no longer trendy to hold a banner and fight for your "rights"- whatever that maybe. It no longer is political correct to fight for "freedom" or "oppression", and it is also not politically correct to criticize authoritarian regimes because simply because of "cultural" context. It is as if, one single word can explain away all the "wrongs" in the world.
When Myanmar release it's political prisoners, it was almost an non-event, where a few years ago, it would be lauded as a triumph for "democracy". Now it is like, "oh well, the world has moved on, so should Myanmar. And when North Korea had a failed rocket launch, no one chided them or try rubbed salt into the wounds- everyone kept quiet, almost of an disquieting civility.
Cold War has ended, Russia no longer even tries to be communist and no one even attempts to be anything now. Are we going to save the dolphins now and see no light, no end and no passions to improve the human condition?
How do you want the world to be- think hard, work smart and play even harder.
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