Keeping up with the Joneses

Is loneliness a justification for companionship or companionship a justification for loneliness. This means that if I can socially induced "loneliness"- can I not also produce the antidote, similarly in the second, there is the statement that lays this principle.

When we were younger, we were often teased by the popular classmates- and when you get close to them or gain their acceptance, they would often do the things together, however uncharacteristic that it can be. Some simply call this bullying. And when we grow up and we started working, when we are left out of lunch, we felt that we are not part of grapevine- and when there lunches, there were simply gossip about colleagues. Then you just go along, not wishing to eat lunch alone- when what was being said at lunch have nothing to what you are going to do at work. Whether it is instinctive behaviour of a group to self-regulate via patrolling of boundaries or simply just "social" behaviour- there wasn't even a mention of loneliness. It is simply a given, that it is the way that it is- either you with us or you are against us.

Following this particular argument- being with us or against us- has nothing to loneliness, it is a matter of self-interested behaviour. And if so, why then does one continue to do the "ineffective" or "wrong" thing when it is not in our interest to do so- and risk losing your job for lousy performance or engaging unhealthy acts. The human condition has captured that why we act has nothing to why we act- we are simply afraid to be left out or be alone.

The funny thing about this psyche is that in this group, at the same time, they attempt to differentiate themselves. It means that they want to be different and yet be in the group both at the same time. That is the reason that you would see people scrimping and saving to branded goods to lift their status and also printing tattoos and dressing outlandishly while not really doing illegal or deviant.

The recognition of adding value in a group beyond effort is intuitive to the human psyche but the strange thing is we are quite incapable to being different just for the being "different". This means that we are simply wearing the "emperor's new clothes"- which is essentially nothing. But yet the behaviour has the effect of giving the euphoric behaviour of "standing out" when in reality, there is nothing there.

I was in town today, and printed tees making a statement can sell for $100 and upwards- when in reality, they are just t-shirt with a bit more words thats all. The cosmetic industry in Korea is booming and botox injection is as common as going to the dentist- this has a effect that looking good and looking young has a currency in the market. And in similar terms, we want to look young beyond our age and yet maintain the status quo. This has a simple effect of 50 year olds looking like 30 year olds- and for those not quite affording these sessions, they compensate simply by buying more status enhancing products  however how inappropriate it is for their social setting.

And if you are 50 year and look like 50 year- you are simply alone when everyone else doesn't look like your age right. But what is the difference between 50 year old and 30 year old regardless of appearance- everyone who has a history will tell you that it simply different.

The above is not a manner that beauty is bad- but rather keeping up Joneses does not necessarily have a practical value and therefore I concur with this above statement that companionship is sometimes a justification for loneliness. You are made alone not by the force of nature but the a conflicting behaviour of other's both acting out of the norm and yet wanting to stay the same. This has an effect of really driving each other crazy- simply because one is never good enough for the person next to you.

I would rather look lonely looking my age and rather than succumb to what is a relentless pursuit for an eternal fountain of perfection. I'll leave Joneses to keep up with Joneses. Meanwhile, I'll just stick to talking with them- if it is not too demeaning for them.