Being Faithful

Love is a difficult thing- not because it is difficult to fall in love. It is difficult precisely because it is too easy. It is easy to infatuate about something and form positive feelings about someone which eventually becomes an attachment and evocative emotion. Anyone who went through teenage life with a crush would tell that.

The thing about this form of love is that it is so pleasurable and so stirring that nothing in this world will compare to that feeling. It is that's why we always have a lingering feeling about the first time until it fades into oblivion as layers of skepticism lay thin to that powerful feeling.

It is precisely that all of us wish to have that feeling at least once or have always attempted to regain that feeling again. Sex- even the transactional kind- always have a sense of excitement and euphoria, otherwise no one would want to spend money on what is nothing more than a release of bodily fluids. Many of us whom constantly seek this form of pleasure are constantly on the lookout for the euphoric or high that punctuate an otherwise routine life.

Puppy love- then is really the breaking down of barriers- both physically and mentally in which everything seems to harmonize with each other and there are birds singing on the trees with every bouncy step. The euphoria is so subtle that every little thing bounces off from us and nothing can do any wrong. It is no wonder that everyone seeks that state.

And the transactional form seeks to find this euphoria insofar not as a mental state but rather as a form of blip in a plateau of which only makes the plateau all the more tolerable. It is a means to an end rather than a mood.

Love then you see- one would release has little space for daily life- not once did I ever mention that love is a solution or is the antidote of life- but rather it is a condition of which only makes our life meaningful. And without it, all duties are routines and all rights are entitlements.

That is exactly why it is so elusive and yet so powerful. It is easy to fall in love but it is really difficult to do something because it means something otherwise many things would not be done. That is exactly why, when we grow older, love is not that weightless feeling anymore but rather something like a task and a chore of which we would have to manage among the many other things in our life. To fall in love is simply not practicable in real life- it is really just too cumbersome and bothersome- everyone knows it, but yet everyone seeks the opposite.

There are some who say that conceptions of love is romantic and flourishing- there is such a thing as contentment and satisfaction. Granted that such feelings exist, but why would anyone seek a lover or partner when a dog or cat or even any other thing can give you that same feeling. I suspect that it is nothing more than euphemism of which that it is nothing more than companionship and loneliness than love.

That is then I too suspect that many regret their choices in partners or lovers simply because they couldn't stand being lonely rather than sticking to their guns and finding something that they want. I have no beef with that and it is that life is simply matter of trade offs- whether deliberate or instinctive. But then, think about that lingering look of someone that made a pass at you- did it just skipped a beat- and if it did, on what matters did it make it sense that you are satisfied with what you have. This is not temptation or a sin- it simply that sticky feeling that you reminded yourself of the potential feeling that one gave up in frustration for something less than ideal. It's your regret that throbs and not devil whispering in your ear.

If you read all the recent sex scandals and all infidelity- it is never about love- it is always about the tryst. And you gave it up when you suspend your standards for something to relieve that pain inside you. You were short-changed and you simply want to have the cake and eat it as well.

Being faithful is never about the other person, it is about you slacking and trading off something you might have for something you can have. You screw up not because you are sexy and desirable and somebody wants you- you screwed up because you want to have the feeling of being desirable. Sadly, it is really all about you- but not in the manner that you think you are. No one tempted you- you gave that up a long time ago.