Tautology

This was written back 12 something on 23/1 Wednesday at Starbucks:

I am first to tell you that I really am not that prolific: but I want, i would normally get. And what I want is always something that I never have before.

You might think that I am like a wise old sage and have all the tricks up my sleeve and like a playbook of tricks that I pulled every time I want something. There is really nothing to dissect here simply because I don't even know what is the appeal in the first place.

And in the second place: I have never really chased a girl before. The only time I did: I chased for a week and well something did happen. I don't think I have ever be friends with a girl I liked. I always like the chasing part and never really liked this meandering way- it sort of take the fun out of everything.

But now, there is a hanging out culture- but well, my time is best doing things with an objective then with girls and practical stuff mixing together. I feel my time is being short-changed.

I have never ask a girl out to study on the pretext of anything else or to do a project just to get some time together. I am really not good at mixing these two together.

When I go out, it is to have dinner and to have drinks- everything else is game on. I really don't like to hang out- there must always be something to do.

That's why I tell you I have never really chased anyone before- it always sort of happen. I feel sometimes I am being conned than I am really chasing someone.

Everything else that happens always happens after that.

Maybe I am latent romantic: everything in it's good time. That's why I still have no idea how did this player thing happened- if it ever did-.

I am probably the worst player in the world I think- because when women cry I always lose. I have been tricked so many times by that, I sometimes wonder whether I should walk out or stay. But anyway, normally I stick around until I wait for a better time. Oh I never do the I dont answer your phone trick- you will know when I am getting rid of you. I just think it is plain rude and really unclassy.

For anyone who thinks that I am Lothario- you must have your head and eyes checked first.

And no, my heart is not broken. It never was. And no, I do not pine for anyone in the past, I really am happy like that- I still don't know what is the big deal.

I have many things going on before and now- why should I really regret whatever that has happened.

You can ask the taxi driver whether he wants to drive the taxi after three years on the job- they can tell you that it is for survival that's all. There is not much makan places to explore anymore.

He just want to drive to work and meet up with his fellow drivers for drinks and go home- everything else trust me, is just a bonus.

Alright, let's put out this hypothetical situation that I become terribly excited about everything. The first thing I would do is to drop everything and head to the beach right. Why the hell would I be terribly excited about things that I could and have done before.

Let me give you this 'holier than thou' speech that I know it is really cliche. I like to tell you that when you reach 30, you will be free and everything will be exciting because you have the freedom. The last thing you want to do at that age is really sleep. Any other thing is just a bonus.

And yes, when we have money, we will always find you irritating because simply you are occupying the space when you are better off somewhere else. True story.

I have studied in airport before and everywhere else- and I thought I was really fun. But now I know the security guard just want to get rid of me.

The manager is simply looking at you now- and noting how you much you are spending.

Oh, by the way, the clock will always come a full circle. The school prefect became a tattoo artist, the bad boy was the first to get married and the nerds went to the gym and became very buff. The school sportsman never got a girlfriend- strangely.

And the rest of us will simply cop out an be boring. True story. And you will forget most of them by the time you are 30 if you are worth any salt by then.

Have Fun.