Achoo!!

Do you want to know why I left, the answer is rather simple: it is not because that I blame the people around me, it is just simply that I find no reason to reason with people with people who does not want to take reason.

Once I had a quarrel with the neighbour upstairs for slamming his furniture in the middle of the night and always seem to be able to pick the opportune moment to slam the door, or stomp his chair just at the right time to scare people. It is not because I am scared but rather I think it is a natural reaction for a person to be startled by a random loud noise. Quite honestly, I get scared by the jumping cat in the movies more often than not.

That is the difference between being scared and being paranoid. Initially, I was really irritated by his actions, I went up to him and he went on to keep repeating my words or saying the exact opposite without any reason which means that he just want to say everything the opposite of me without really knowing what he is saying. After all a while, I realise that the he is not going to change and the people that keep slamming the door or throw beer bottles in the middle of the night or those that sneeze the living daylights of their is ever going to change, I begin to detach the noise from the emotion. It is very natural to be startled by random noises, but when you start to get scared or paranoid by it- that is the problem.

Hence after a while, I just let these weird neighbours with weird habits do whatever they want, and after my groove back after the initial startle, I just carry on as per normal. It was a waste of time, to talk to people who use noise as an argument, hence this means that they intend to associative measures to persuade you- when they scare you, means don't this, I am sorry, I don't work like that. If you have a problem or have something to tell me, you tell me and give a proper a statement why you think so. I gave him a chance, I went to his house and ask him to stop it: but he went on rambling on about saying the exact opposite of what I say, hence I realise that he is not going to change, and so I let his family suffer him. I just pretend that he enjoys shifting furniture and slamming doors like he was a karung guni man.

Similarly, my football mates whom were actually good friends through university played this rather silly game with me like literally not passing the ball or throwing all my good balls away. I am not sure why is there a change of behaviour: it is too drastic as I was actually one of their "better" players. It is like they have a tacit agreement among themselves that they intend to do what they do. I mean I don't see any point in arguing with someone or a group of people, and in fact that has been happening so many times, that I don't see a point in banging my head against the wall. Hence I sort of just quit the team- but I knew about this silly little game that they are having, and in this case, I will have to feign anger, just to find an excuse to get out.

You see, you put all these together, I have never gotten angry with all these people, the thing is that they are quite unrelated to me or at best have a not so close relationship with me hence I don't see a point in getting angry with them. But the thing is that during the previous year, when I was sort of experimenting with a few things, they thought this blip was normal. For that year, how should I put it: pretend and believe that everything everyone say. And I was getting angry and screwed so many times, you cannot imagine that it is normal. But they thought it was- and that is beside the point.

Anyway, the point is that all these people with actually believe these rumours or façade. But it was already over- but anyway, they continue to persist in their ways, and continue to antagonize me in every way.

But you know what that one year taught me: it is to teach me that most of us just simply cheap. We are so cheap that we don't even realise it. We will cut corners when we can and when it suits us. I was trying to find a decent person for one whole year, and I couldn't even count it with my fingers.

It is like people when given any chance will throw you under the bus for a toss of a coin and take advantage of every little single opportunity. I was disgusted but not angry. Why should be I angry when I allow others to do what they do- they just show and tell me one very single thing, I was not wrong before and I was not wrong now. I gave them a chance to show me some humanity, and they gave me two slaps across the cheeks instead.

I am vindicated in my decision to leave this place- the slaps were enough to show the inadequacy and the lack of humanity and courtesy towards each other. Suffice to say, I am disgusted by the actions of these people and the lack of belief in the fellow human being. It just goes to show that maybe, just maybe, these people deserve their lot in life. I am not better off than them, and I am not more right than them. I do only what I think it is right but most don't have the capacity to even have the basic decency to talk, explain and discuss with each other and jump to conclusion.

P/S: There are a lot of complaints that I can make which I know I have been short-changed- suffice to say that the above are just quite straightforward examples. Suffice to say that, I did not pursue them simply because in truth, I have given up on you- "you" can be anyone of you which have indulged in this behaviour. You know it yourself, I don't wish to name names or identify you out.