Hello!!

I begin to wonder at this point in time whether people care more about me than I care less about them. You see, I am beginning to wonder whether why the less I care, the more they want to give a damn- even go at all lengths to get my attention. Related to the other post, I begin to wonder who is mad. Why does anyone to the extend to that attention just to get some form reaction- any form of reaction.

You see that paranoia and all forms of extreme reactions- if very little form of "rationality, for a lack of a better word- is I think symptomatic of two things emotions and a lack of ability to control it. 1) the first one is normal, this means that it is quite normal to be afraid or fear of things you are not sure of 2) if as a result of this emotion, you go into frenzy and pretend that as a result of the emotion, you entitled to be irrational or do really "stupid" things per se.

Let me quote an example, I have friends whom actually invite me to gathering and only to make sure that I look really bad. Okay, let's say he/she really don't like me, why does he/she go to such lengths to demonstrate his/her hatred. I think that is pathological simply because there is no difference between this and a premeditated murder, simply because everything is pre-planned for what I consider to be a malevolent act. The only difference is that the act itself is the result of cowardice and not as a result of an intention to harm. A serial murderer have the guts to do the thing in his head- but if you do that 1) I think you are mad, simply because you went through such lengths to inflict harm onto others 2) you are coward. It simply makes me you are not in control of your emotions 2) disrespect you.

At least, you are mad, I still can predict your actions, but you are mad and coward, it means that you cannot be trusted and cannot is of little use- because if you hate my guts, you should train very hard and beat me fair and square and not create a sheninagans to make me really bad. I don't mind being beaten but I don't like to deal with people with emotions can come out in "weird" ways, should I say.

If you utilize resources to create a scene, can you imagine what will happen if someone really hands you the ability to use greater resources- this means that you will use to make other's look bad.

You see, there is no need to criticize me to get my attention, I will not get affected. Neither do you need to look bad, to incite because I will not be bother with people who spend their time creating a scene. Assuming that is normal for one to be embarrassed to talk to someone and the only way one knows how is to create a scene, it should stop at getting attention and not continue after getting it right. This means that the underlying emotion is so messed up and warped that, it is not attention one wants- I suspect it has nothing to do with self-esteem, confidence and a very negative self-image.

I might not be the most successful person in the world, and no I don't think I am the greatest person in the world but no, I do not think that I should look down and grab other people's attention just because I don't feel good enough. Even if you are Albert Einstein standing in front of me, I would press you and ask you for real and ask you out for tea. Why should be in awe of person and leave myself dumbfounded rather than treat him as a human and learn from him.

Albert Enistein will not appreciate anyone treating him a cardboard stereotype too as well like a poster child for genius and thinking that there is no question that will stumped him. Even if you don't feel good enough, what is wrong with having Albert Enistein as a friend- I really don't quite understand- maybe one day his toilet gets stuck and you are a good plumber, you might be a help to him. No one knows everything and needs nothing. Hence I don't see how anyone can feel scared about meeting anyone beyond the initial nervousness.

Anyway, I am not psychologist, I don't intend t treat the mental maladies of people who treat me in a manner which I consider to be pathological- maybe I will avoid you on the street that's all. I think you are stalker- you have the potential to be one.