Happiness, Contenment and Affirmation

When I wrote the last post, it almost seems bothering on self pity. But if you look carefully, some people will never have the same experience that I will have ever have. I will probably have they have so long as I slow down. That is the difference.

But the point of everything is that, there is nothing to gloat about, neither is there anything to be upset about. Everyone makes choices according to what they think is best for them. The difference between them and myself is that I have the mileage to do some things and still get away with it. I am not trying to say that it was right, all I am saying that- if you see the last 2-3 post, you will realise that it takes a really stupid and slightly out of whack to do what I do and think that something will work out.

The downside is that as a result of the one year of experimentation, everyone thought it was permanent- and now I just have to unwind everything. But I am 32, and not 62. If people cannot accept a certain conception, this means that they have a fixed paradigm which I sort of breached it and makes it uncomfortable for them.

You have to understand that the loss- at least form this perspective- is their's and not mine. I am not going to advise everyone what I do. All I am trying to say that, I think everyone chooses the life that he/she wants to live. I just live it this way. And so, if my friends, family think that I have changed so much beyond what they imagined, I do not lament them. Hence I will just pack my bags and go.

I am trying to say that I should do that but if the stereotype and paradigm is so hardened and fixed, this means that things will not changed and their boundaries are as far as the mind can bring them. Hence, do not rub it in my face about your beautiful girlfriend or your prodigious children, there is a difference between what you see and what I experienced.

Think about it I tired of the first and second, I can start one tomorrow and there is nothing anyone can stop me. But the above, once you have children, a mortgage, a sticky girlfriend, forget about doing the most ridiculous things like what I did before- it was not the most advisable but no one actually says that you go to Mars to experience life, maybe if you slow it down and absorb everything around you- you will already get a sensory overload.

Adventure, I have been to army- and all those adventure tours is like a joke. Bungee jump and walking in the dark- add that by 100 times more pressure. I can tell you it isn't that fun after all. I will get a 5 stars hotel anytime.

I have nothing against having adventure tours but I wont pay a lot to get some high and trekking in the jungle in paved steps. C'mon, have you been to a place so dark, you cannot even see your hand in front of you. And then you got some stupid mission to fulfil. Bungee Jumping- how about rappelling- for free- and they throw you down the wall and never tell you about all the safety futures.

I know some people craved for that, and there are some who say don't take risk and have a kid and forget about all these. I dare you, to stay at home, record every sound you hear and tell me how it relate to your life- I can safely tell you that, you do not even want to get out of your house- because your senses is so sensitive, you will get an information overload. Try that for one year- and tell me whether jumping from building on a bungee will make any sense.

If you want to go to the lowest common denominator, that is the lowest common denominator. You against everything that you know- nothing is to left untouched.

Hence I am happy for you, and that you have found someone or have a kid n your life. I am not jealous and neither am I envious. You don't need to prove to me your happiness to seek affirmation- that means you are not sure. If you are not, that is your problem and not mine.

When you see me on the street, and you see me not giving a damn: as the song goes: "Move Along, move along like you know should, just move along."

No offence.